


Onto the Road of Recovery

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Random Haikyuu aus [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 2 weeks to exams, Aged up characters, Counselling, M/M, counselling skills exam, hinata is a counsellor, hinata secretly kageyama's fan, hints of ships, i will let you find them ships, japan vs. brazil, kagehina on a roll, kageyama and ushijima on team japan!, kageyama as a pro volleyball player, olympics 2020, olympics possibly mentioned, possible ushisuga, slightly related to the manga, studying while sick is shit, ushijima being kageyama's senpai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21971740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Hinata Shouyou is a counsellor who never thought he would be able to counsel the volleyball player he admired most in the world; Kageyama Tobio, upcoming star on the Japan Olympic Team. As he goes through the events of the player's life who made him who he was today, he begins to wonder if Kageyama could truly escape his past or if everything can never be undone?
Series: Random Haikyuu aus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634083
Comments: 29
Kudos: 34





	1. Beginning of a contract and partnership

**Author's Note:**

> So I have an exam in two weeks I haven't studied for considering its Christmas and been feeling sick for a good while and with ten lectures to go through, what better way to try and stick it in my brain then writing a fanfiction about it?
> 
> I'm studying counselling skills at the moment and most of the counselling terms and rules in this fanfic are based on what I have learned in class with me trying to adapt them to the best I can to fit this story. It might get a little technical but bear with me!
> 
> To be fair, I might be able to see Hinata being a counsellor since he's so good in listening and always wanting to help people while Kageyama might actually have benefitted if he had told someone about his problems in the past. Without Hinata in his life, no way he would be able to be who is is today in the manga. Dont worry! Not going to delve into any spoilers here, most of them is just my own imagination.
> 
> Might explore some bits on their pasts and not sure to include if Hinata plays volleyball in this au but we'll see. 
> 
> Planning to post one chapter per day to keep myself motivated and to actually do shit and study.
> 
> This chapter will focus on how a contract is made between counsellor and client and what boundaries may be established between them in order to keep the order of things and to make sure they have a good business-like relationship. 
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Hinata Shouyou sat in his chair, trying not to fidget in excitement about the client he was about to get today. While the guy had been known to be always a ball of sunshine trying to make the world a better place and has been said by many of his clients to have showed them to a better way in their lives, he couldn’t help but think that this might be a bit too much for him.

After all, he was a big fan of the sport, and the client about to walk through the door.

The curtains were open to let in some sunlight and Hinata didn’t have to worry about people peeping in from outside as he was on the third floor of a building. The walls were painted a dark brown with a few pictures of flowers and sceneries hanging on the walls, just to give the room a little more life to it. Hinata sat in a comfy armchair, an identical one set across from him with a small coffee table with a box of tissues next to them with a vase of flowers, although Hinata prayed the client wouldn’t be allergic to them. A tiny clock was set on the table facing him, allowing him to keep track of the time and make sure he didn’t run over it with the client during the session, which was something he often had problems with as he wished he could sit there for hours on end listening to their problems and helping them out.

When the door swung open to reveal the man who was to be his client, he couldn’t help but fidget slightly in excitement as he sat in the chair across from him, a scowl on his face as he tried not to look at him in the eye. He was wearing a sport team jacket with the tiny Japan flag sewn on his left breast and his name stood out underneath it as Hinata tried to calm himself.

Kageyama Tobio, one of the strongest and best volleyball players in Japan had come to him for a counselling session that Hinata wondered why he hadn’t done so in a long time. While he may be a pro volleyball player, specifically a setter, he was not someone who screamed professional when it came to volleyball ethics, especially in the lines of teamwork. While it hadn’t been caught on camera before, there had been rumours of many people wanting Kageyama off the Japan volleyball team due to his inability to work with others, which was a miracle on his own he managed to even get onto the strongest team in the country considering volleyball was all about teamwork.

One thing he could tell from sure, judging from Kageyama’s sullen face was the fact he would rather be anywhere but in front of Hinata right now.

Hinata quickly made a mental checklist of how he looked like now to make sure Kageyama would be able to see that he was trying to help him the best he can. When Hinata first started training, he didn’t know such tiny things like posture and even the tilt of the mouth could change how someone views a counsellor.

First, he made sure to wipe the slightly crazed smile of a fanboy off his face before schooling his face into a warmer, more not too crazy face before shifting his body to sit upright, his arms apart and legs in front, not crossing as to indicate that he was open to listening to Kageyama’s thoughts.

While that resulted in a little bit of more awkward silence Hinata would like, he quickly smiled as he spoke to Kageyama, the guy’s eyebrows raising as Hinata introduced himself.

“Hi. I’m Hinata Shouyou and I will be your counsellor for the next few weeks, that is if you choose to continue the service,” he smiled, trying to lift the heavy atmosphere already in the room as Kageyama barely let out a grunt. The guy was much taller than him and had a face that would normally send people running in the opposite direction and ever since he cut his hair, it hadn’t made things any better for him.

“For today, I’m just going to go through some of the basic ideas of how this is going to work between us and how things will progress once I lay down the boundaries of the contract.”

“No one told me anything about a contract,” Kageyama murmured as he crossed his arms in front of him, making him seem like he was a gangster about to murder someone as Hinata tried not to gulp.

“Its standard procedure to produce a contract so as to if anything happens, we would be able to revisit them and make sure we had gone through everything before jumping to conclusions of them not having been mentioned before. I’m not trying to intimidate you or anything, its just to make sure that none of us would get hurt in this.”

Kageyama didn’t respond to this as Hinata mentally took a deep breath before continuing to how the session was going to work out.

“We will start off by going through how I will work with you as your counsellor. I would not be advising you on anything, but rather guide you…”

“Wait. You’re telling me you won’t fix me?” Kageyama snapped as Hinata tried to explain.

“If I were to just give you advice, I would be giving you an opinion on the matter and you would be following what I said rather than just thinking for yourself. By guiding you, I could be giving you encouragements on how you can resolve your problems on your own. That way, if this happens again, not like I want it to happen again! But rather then, you would be able to do it independently and not rely on anyone for that matter, if that makes sense.”

Hinata could feel his brain exploding from all the information he had just spouted to Kageyama even though he was the one telling him what to do but then again, Kageyama looked a little confused on it as Hinata tried to put on a smile.

“Don’t worry, I will try to help you anyway I can. Although out of curiosity,” he asked even though he had known the information beforehand from the assessment Kageyama had done before coming in on what he was about to say next, “Did you recommend yourself for counselling?”

Kageyama looked reluctant to answer for a minute, his hands gripping his pants so tightly he might have been able to rip them before finally answering.

“Ushijima-san, one of my teammates told me things were getting worse for the team and if I did not do something about it, it might lead me to being changed to a different team or getting kicked out altogether. I don’t want to leave playing volleyball…” he whispered as he said, “its my life. I am nothing without it.”

Ushijima. That had been the reason he was called in to begin with. The receptionist had nearly freaked out when Ushijima had called the agency about wanting Kageyama to receive counselling. While Hinata had counseled a few sportsmen before, Kageyama was the most high profile one he had got and it had taken quite a lot of shushing to make sure the information did not go public.

Not many people liked Kageyama despite how he had been a prodigy in the sport since his high school days and was one of the best setters to ever grace the court due to his sharp tongue and temper. Apparently he had nearly broke the camera of a reporter once when he was asked more about his family life, which was somewhat of a mystery to everyone when he had tried to walk away to dodge the problem.

Hinata hoped he didn’t have to resort to drastic measures if he ever got pummeled in the face.

When Hinata had first read his profile, he thought he had definitely got the wrong person but after the higher ups had talked to him about it, Hinata wondered if he should even be doing this considering how he had only qualified about a year ago. But since his superiors trusted him on this, he was going to do the best he could do.

He was tempted to reach out to give Kageyama a pat on the back after how forlorn he had looked when he had mentioned the possibility of never playing volleyball again but thinking about how touching another person was way out of the question unless absolutely necessarily (he didn’t even know if Kageyama even wanted any physical contact at this point), he opted to give one of the best encouraging smiles he had as Kageyama looked up.

“Don’t worry! I will make sure you get better in communication and work better with your teammates!”

That was one of the first things he shouldn’t have done: giving false hope to a client. He didn’t want to break the guy’s hopes on never being able to play the sport again but now, he just wanted to make sure Kageyama was up to even wanting to be helped. If Ushijima, the strongest in the team had recommended him to go through this, he needed all the help he could get.

Slowly, Kageyama gave a little nod in response as he bowed to Hinata, who tried not to die from the fact the player was doing that to him as he said.

“Please take care of me.”

Such simple words, but the amount of emotion behind them was nearly enough to make Hinata want to choke back a sob as he saw through those emotions.

_Help me. I don’t want to lose everything I have. I don’t have anything else to turn to. Please._

“Alright! Now we can go to how things are going to work out. First, congrats on making your way here, although I should have said that in the beginning. I will be giving you 50 minutes of counselling sessions every week for the next 10 weeks, although it may differ depending to if you could work things out quicker or need more time to come to terms with your feelings and working out a solution. I will go through the contract with you and what we can do and not do before going to know a little bit about yourself.”

“I already gave you my profile over the phone…” he grunted as Hinata quipped, “But its always better to hear the person’s story from themselves right?”

Kageyama sighed as he nodded, Hinata reaching to pull out a contract from a file as Kageyama looked ready to die seeing the amount of words when Hinata grinned.

“Don’t worry! We won’t be going through everything, although I will give you a copy to take home. First of all, I promise you everything that is said in this room, stays in the room. I would not tell others about what you say to me or anything about your feelings; unless it is something that may bring danger to others, I might be forced to break confidentiality, although I hope things would come to that extent.

You can call me anytime before 6pm if you need any help, although I won’t be able to come over physically to help you. If things escalate to that extent, you will need to contact the people responsible and I have included various hotlines you could make use off. I answer emails if you email me so that’s ok as well. However, unless its something not related to counselling like your personal life, I won’t be able to help you on that.”

Hinata always had the urge to want to be friends with his clients. Some of them had gone through rough times and needed all the support they could get but he knew if he did that, he would be overwhelmed from work and having to deal with clients outside of working hours. He may seem to have a lot of energy, but even Hinata had his limits. Plus, he didn’t want to change professional relationships into personal ones; it would make things more complicated.

Sure, he was a little gay for Kageyama being an awesome player and wishing he had someone to set to him the way he did for Ushijima but that was past the contract and what he was there for; to help Kageyama go through his problems and hear about stories that he had never told anyone before.

Imagine how people would flock him if they knew he was Kageyama’s therapist and all the information he had on the guy being released to the public.

He quickly shook out those thoughts as he tried to get back on track. The small clock he had on the table now read 15 minutes to the time as he quickly got back to the contract.

“I will also take notes on what you say during the sessions just in case we need to use them next time in the future. As usual, no one other than me would be able to have access to this files so you don’t need to worry about breaking confidentiality. I would only release information unless absolutely necessary and only to the people responsible. Mostly its when someone is in the danger of getting hurt.

I will respect your decision if you wish to not continue the therapy but you will have to let me know in advance that you want to stop. I will never harm you during the counselling session; I am here to help you and want you to get better and I will respect your decisions to the best I can.”

With that, he turned the contract to face Kageyama before giving him a pen, which he looked reluctant to take as he finally took it to sign the bottom of it before giving it back to Hinata. Trying not to fanboy about just having the signature of a famous volleyball player in his hands, Hinata tucked it away in the file before leaning in his seat, reminding himself to keep an open body posture as he said.

“Now then, maybe if you could tell me a bit more about what you’re thinking and what the problem may be, Kageyama.”

…

Kageyama had nearly thrown Ushijima against the wall when he found out he had arranged a counselling session for him. It had happened a week ago after training and everyone had gone home, both of them having stayed behind to get more training time in until their coach finally kicked them out and told them to rest.

Ushijima had said it so simple and in his face as though he was talking about the weather and while he knew he may have to do it eventually, it didn’t mean Kageyama wanted any part of it.

“I booked an appointment for you with a counsellor on our day off. I will bring you there and drop you off before picking you up.”

Kageyama didn’t think twice as he swung around, grabbing Ushijima by the collar and pining him on the wall, the slamming sound echoing across the pristine lockers of the training facility before snarling.

“I don’t need therapy, Ushijima-san.”

“Your teamwork is getting worse. I thought I may have seen worse last time but you are getting more erratic. Your sets are good and I love hitting them, but the others can’t keep up with them and are not scoring when they should. I think it’s the best thing you can do before things get worse.”

“I don’t need to care about the others. As long as I can function on the court, that’s all I need.”

Ushijima’s hand reached to gently pry Kageyama’s away from him, his face shifting slightly to one of concern as he patted Kageyama on the shoulder, the setter not flinching as he walked away from him to go to the door, grabbing his gear on the way before turning.

“Kageyama. You are a great setter. I can’t deny it. But if a setter is of no use to anyone on the court, there is no reason for them to remain on the team.”

As the door slammed behind him, Kageyama had tried not to scream as he slammed his fist into the wall, nearly denting it as he gritted his teeth. He didn’t need to hear that from Ushijima of all people but he didn’t want to acknowledge it as well. As dense as he was, he knew things were getting worse for the team and if he didn’t change, he might get kicked off.

He had never been one who bothered trying to understand people. All he wanted to do was to be on the court, setting for the spikers the way he please. He didn’t care if they couldn’t catch the ball; as long as he could set and they keep up with him, he will be ok.

He had to be ok.

_Hurry up!  
  
_

_More!_

_Keep up!_  
  


_“We can’t keep up with your crazy tosses, Kageyama!” Kindaichi had yelled in his face during the game. Kunimi lurked at the back, scowling at him as Kindaichi tried not to grab him by the collar and shake him up in the middle of the game._

_Why? Why couldn’t they keep up with him? Why must he slow himself down to be at their level? If they couldn’t be like him, they might as well be useless to him on the court._

Even as he parted ways with them and moved on to high school, training as hard as he could until he was finally scouted and out on youth team before reaching the Olympic team, he thought that was all he needed.

Power.

Strength.

Teamwork didn’t matter.

He would only toss to those who would win the game. He had many of those kinds of players around him but now, he could feel the rift opening between them, just like it had all those years ago in middle school when he had been abandoned by his team.

The ball hitting the ground, when someone should have been there to spike it.

It was an act of betrayal, an act to deny he was part of the team.

Why he had chosen a sport that required so much teamwork was a mystery even to him.

More. More. He need more. He needed to train more, to play more. To get away from his thoughts.

“Kageyama?” a voice broke through his thoughts as Kageyama snapped out from them, his heart racing as though he had just run to see Hinata staring at him in the face. The orange head had initially annoyed him with his slightly too big smile and bubbly nature but he had come to appreciate that he, at least looked and was paid to, help him.

“Are you ok to continue with next week? We’ve run out of time for this one. See you again, same time?” Hinata asked as Kageyama nodded weakly.

How long had it been since he had told someone of his past? The only person who might know was Ushijima and his old teammates but that was about it.

There may not be a single person in the world who understood him.

Except for this person sitting across him, lighting up the world in a way he couldn’t imagine possible as he reached a hand for him to take. Kageyama eyed it for a minute, his hand sweating before taking it, both of them shaking hands before he walked out, leaving the mysterious counsellor behind to see Ushijima’s hulking body waiting in the lobby, people trying not to stare at him as he wore the same jacket Kageyama was wearing.

It was hard not to stare since both of them had graced the television and even had stared in advertisements that popped up on Youtube for the past few years and both of them don’t normally care to hide themselves from the public eye anyways. Well, Kageyama did try sometimes but Ushijima didn’t care.

He peered up from the volleyball magazine he was reading, spotting Kageyama wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses although his jacket totally gave away who he was before walking to the carpark and getting in the car. Ushijima quickly cranked up the engine and drove onto the busy streets of Tokyo, steering the car towards home.

“What did you think of it? Was it helpful?” Ushijima asked as Kageyama stayed silent, his hand cupping his cheek as he stared at the cars passing them. Ushijima thought to leave him be for a minute until they got back to the dorms when Kageyama said.

“I think I might go again next week.”

He didn’t notice Ushijima’s face breaking into a tiny smile as they drove on, away from the small room Kageyama had just embarked on a life changing journey.


	2. Understanding himself and another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that we're in chapter 2, I got a rough idea on how this is going to work so here it is. I will switch between Kageyama and Hinata's POVs during each chapter and I will try to tie in as much of the topics I have to learn into the story but won't make it so weird by sticking a term inside and disrupt the flow of the story.
> 
> Things here are a bit different from what happened in the manga but hey, at least they're together now right? It was strange trying to change things up if Kageyama hadn't gone to Karasuno and what not but hey, luckily this ain't canon!
> 
> For this chapter, the topics I will be focusing on is how a counsellor should ask questions and what would make a good counsellor (theoretically) with Kageyama echoing how some of Hinata's actions make him feel at ease that are the traits to building up a good rapport between counsellor and client.
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Hinata couldn’t help but go through some information of Kageyama he managed to glean from the Internet. It was amazing how some information even from his middle school days were still available as he scrolled down the page, the entirety of it dedicated to how Kageyama had managed to get all the way to the top along with some interesting information.

One of them included the newspaper cutting of the day his school failed to get to nationals, the very game where he had supposedly been rejected by the rest of his peers. While he had gone on to Shiratorizawa and managed to work with a good team there, he still had an ever increasing problem of working in a team. Shiratorizawa may be well known for how only the strong were chosen and brought together to work together, they still had a remotely good level of teamwork.

It was just the fact that Kageyama managed to perform his job well and set to Ushijima that it hadn’t become a thing and the coach and team had learned to tolerate him, until now.

When Hinata saw Kageyama, the guy looked ready to break at the seams. He knew that the Olympics were a few months away and that training was getting more intense then ever but according to what Ushijima had said about Kageyama, if he didn’t buck up with working on his communication skills and working with the team, he might be pulled out of the starting line up altogether and that would in effect kill him inside.

Hinata wished he could just crack open his mind and read it like an open book instead of trying to pry the information from him. It was hard working with someone so important in such a small period of time but he had to make do with what he had. Afterall, his teacher had said something about being able to do a good job with such little information about a client helping to make someone a better counsellor.

Hinata remembered when he had first saw the Little Giant flying through the air, jumping to spike the ball against the hands of players so much taller than him and the ball slamming onto the other side with a bang. The little Giant had grinned and pumped a fist in the air, smiling as his teammates surrounded him. To Hinata, a person who never managed to win with height and wanting to overcome the barriers of his height, he had fallen in love with volleyball that day and dedicated most of his time to volleyball.

Instead, what he found was being in a school without people to set for him. He played all alone, no one aiding him on his journey but when he managed to get to high school, he did manage to join Karasuno, the flightless crows who had once went to nationals and led by the mighty Coach Ukai Ikkei, who ruled the crows with an iron fist.

Sadly, when they went against Shiratorizawa and lost to them, his journey to the top ended there and then. Once the third years left and not many first and second years joined the team as they moved through school, the volleyball club slowly deteriorated back to the state it once was. It was a miracle they managed to play against Shiratorizawa and lived to tell the tale all in all.

It hurt Hinata to see the faces of his seniors, broken and crying as they stared at the court they were never able to play again.

Even players, kings of the court like Oikawa and Iwaizumi along with teams like Nekoma, Johzenji, Dateko, all of them were never able to play again on the court with the same members once the third years moved on. That was the thing with volleyball; whoever stood with you on the court mattered. Even though they weren’t the strongest, Hinata was able to connect with them in mind and soul, working with them to bring the ball to one another even though the wall got thicker and higher every time he tried to spike.

When the time came for them to choose a path for themselves in life, Hinata knew he would never be able to become the volleyball player and played volleyball the way he ever wanted to. So he went on to help people like him who were unable to see a light in the life that had failed them, not able to chase their dreams because of something went wrong.

Counselling was something he didn’t expect to do but he loved it as he went to classes, even having Sugawara as a mentor in the university he attended. Suga was the person who made sure the team didn’t go mad with the likes of Tanaka and Nishinoya, always holding the reins on his beloved kohai and making sure they were alright. He too wanted to help people find their dreams and see the view on the other side of the wall he didn’t manage to see for volleyball.

Volleyball or not, everyone had a sight they wanted to see. To stand on the summit, looking at the view above.

That’s what Hinata wanted to do.

Even if it was to the person whose team trashed his on the court all those years ago. Hinata had no idea if Kageyama even recalled having fought Karasuno since they were in the quarter-finals but they had been trashed so badly, the third years doing their best to stay on the court. Daichi digging every ball he could, Suga setting to Hinata the best he could and Asahi trying to smash through every block only to be blocked.

As he looked at Kageyama from across the net, he could see just how different they were on the court. Kageyama would go on to do great things on the court, he would remain an extra on the sidelines.

But now, he wished to help him see the light that volleyball gave him once more, even if he had indirectly snatched that dream away from him.

Judging from how he had first met him, Hinata thought he better try to come up with a method to coax Kageyama out of his shell. He had never been known to talk and Kageyama seemed to be biting back a lot in case he spouted anything rude to him. Despite how Hinata tried to break through to tell Kageyama that he was willing to help him, the boy was like a coiled wire, ready to snap if something so much triggered him.

Hinata thought the main reason Kageyama might have been paired with him was due to his background as a volleyball player and Hinata having a track record of helping his clients and giving them the best support along with his possible obsession with the sport. Hinata wasn’t quiet about how much he loved volleyball, with evidence of how certain things in his office depicted that such as various merchandise on his desk and a volleyball sitting in the corner.

Hinata had hid them away from Kageyama just in case, so he wouldn’t suspect of him being a fanboy.

Hinata shook those thoughts from his head as he tried to look back on the session. Despite him being at home, he couldn’t help but try to come up with techniques to help Kageyama but first thing first, he had to make him comfortable enough to tell him the problem. It was a miracle Kageyama had managed to open himself up and even show up for the session, although he suspected it was part of Ushijima being a considerate senpai who wanted to make sure the key pillar to their success was functioning properly.

Which was why Hinata was going though everything he had learnt in the past to make sure he was on top of things, even if things were very basic.

One of the first things he had been taught in his class was to learn how to relate to the person. With Kageyama and him sharing a past of volleyball, he may be able to relate to him being on the court and how the isolation and lack of teamwork could affect him. Hinata made a mental note to try to get to the root of the problem as to how the problem started without making Kageyama lash out, hoping it wouldn’t be something too serious that Kageyama absolutely refused to bring it out into the open but unless he wanted to get better, he needed to do it.

_Before you try to understand others, you must first understand yourself. Search your feelings and reflect on what you are thinking and how it will affect you. Look at how you speak to others, how the way you respond would affect the listener. Every sentence may have the same words but with the tone and posture of the body, it could send off a completely different message. Not only would the person be able to tell if you are able to relate to them but they would also know if you are the right person to open up to._

_Remember, people coming into counselling sessions do not necessarily want to be there; be grateful as trainees if your first turns up. Build up a rapport to make things calmer between you and make sure you understand what they are saying by rephrasing their words. There is no harm in looking like a fool by asking them to repeat the sentence; it is even worse if you get it wrong, misinterpret it and make things worse by saying something else entirely. These people have put their trust onto you, their problems overwhelming enough to seek help. You are the first and last line for help. Remember to always think on your feet, reflect on your actions and do not free shy to tell them a bit of your past; but only if it is relevant to the situation._

Hinata was surprised when he was first given his reflective journal assignment and had to reflect on thoughts and feelings he had during what they called communication sessions. The first time he had done so was led by Suga, who facilitated the group by making sure everyone knew what their roles were and how they can approach the situation before things were handed over. There were three roles; the listener, who plays the role of the counsellor and listens to the conversation, the speaker who talks about a situation or problem they had been having recently and the observer, who made comments on how the listener had performed and how they could improve afterwards.

Hinata found it a bit strange and also comforting to let out his feelings of not being able to fulfill his dream on the court as a volleyball player and after thinking it through, he thought that maybe, he might have been able to do it. But it wasn’t like he didn’t have the chance to continue playing it. Suga still brought him to played with the others from Karasuno, who now play it for fun from time to time but he still had a lingering feeling of wishing he could be where Kageyama was. After letting them out, he felt somehow refreshed and even relieved for telling it outloud to someone.

Then he had to be the listener and it proved a lot harder than he thought it would be. The first time, he had fidgeted way too much and perhaps blurted one or two things he shouldn’t have said and given advice, which was an absolute no in counselling as he was supposed to guide them to the solution but over time, he had learned to hone his listening skills and given guidance to the best he could.

He had to thank his previous volleyball training for being able to keep track of what people were saying. On the court, it had always been a battle of eyes and ears; listening to who was shouting to whom and looking at where the ball is to run to its direction. Hinata had always been called hyper by those around him and now, it came in handy in him being able to process things quicker and keeping up to the speed of things.

“Arghh, Kageyama… what do I do with you?” Hinata groaned as he wrote up his reflection for the day, wishing he could at least squeeze something out to what went wrong and what he could change. He thought he had done everything to make sure Kageyama was ok with it and that he had done all the proper body language and spoken the right words but guess Kageyama might need more to it than meets the eye.

“I displayed the specific body language required to help the client ease themselves into the conversation but the client didn’t seem to want to open up. It could be due to previous experiences of being rejected when opening up about his problems or not knowing if he could trust me. Trust seems to be something that is key to making it work but I am not sure on how to do this,” Hinata muttered under his breath as he scratched away in his notebook before biting the end of his pen.

Kageyama. A pro volleyball player who ended his journey to the top of the volleyball world. A pro volleyball player whose dreams may come to an end if he didn’t do something about himself. He didn’t want to judge him, but Kageyama’s attitude had been quite sour and bad with his scowl enough to send jitters down his spine but he had to leave it all out for now.

Volleyball….

Suddenly, Hinata had a bright but possibly dangerous idea as he scratched away at the plan he planned to implement the next time he met up with Kageyama, hoping that things would go the way he wanted them to.

When he next saw Kageyama, he greeted Hinata with his signature scowl before turning to see a volleyball sitting on the table between them along with some volleyball related merchandise hanging around. Hinata even had his old Karasuno jacket hanging behind him with his volleyball shoes in the corner. Kageyama raised his eyebrow before turning to sit in the chair as Hinata grinned.

“I hope you like the new set up. I used to be a volleyball player and I thought an environment related to it might be able to ease you into talking a bit more easily,” he smiled as Kageyama grunted before Hinata adjusted his position, looking at the clock as the long hand struck 10 minutes.

“Alright then, Kageyama. How about you start by telling me how the problem started.”

…

Kageyama was horrible at communication and he knew it. Things had been bad enough when he was a kid up to his middle school years but it had become worse as he ventured into pro volleyball with the players becoming more egoistical and annoying as they demanded him to set the way he should.

No one tells him what to do with setting but him.

The only person he allows to order him around was Ushijima and that was out of respect for him being one of the main reasons he was even on the Olympic team with his standing on the court.

Kageyama thought he was a lost cause with learning how to interact with others considering he had been bad at it since day one. He had at one point tried to look it up on how to communicate and if it is important to do so online and what had come back wasn’t all amazing.

_While learning to communicate can be innate, through training and practice people are able to get better at the skill and it helps improve their lives such as being able to find a good job, working better as a team…_

Kageyama had nearly slammed his phone into the wall as he read it, thinking why such a thing had to be so important. His job was to set, not to talk and waste energy and saliva in saying words that may not even come across or be listened to by others.

Ushijima seemed to think along the same lines as him but despite him not having the best communication skills either, Ushijima seemed to be faring better than he was in the teamwork department. No matter in Shiratorizawa or in his professional team, Ushijima was someone people respected and listened to, despite not opening his mouth much.

Once, Kageyama had asked him why people still listened and respected him despite him not talking much and his answer had taken Kageyama back a little.

“Just because I do not speak much, does not mean I do not convey my messages when needed. I watch what the others do on the court, sync up with them and perform according to how they wish me to.”

Kageyama did that himself, he tried to match up with others and was always trying to watch how the others played in order to tell them how to improve but most of the time, they had been treated as insults.

Kageyama was glad that now technology enabled him to send messages without having to open his mouth but he did find it annoying to having to wake up to messages dinging in every so often on his phone. While he only had to write messages and sometimes ignore them; which he did most of the time since it involved the team going to drink and party, he often wished he could just speak to someone.

Anyone but Ushijima since he needed to separate himself from the older player to find his own place on the court.

So when he entered the small counselling room the next week, he was a bit surprised at how the place reminded him a little of his room back home; volleyball on the table, well worn and waiting to be played along with various gear like shoes and a black faded jacket whose name he recognized vaguely from somewhere. He could almost imagine crows flying around him as he opened the door, black meeting white as Hinata smiled at him and motioned him into the seat.

Strange, this was the first time he felt so comfortable sitting in a room alone with someone, let alone a counsellor. The small boy may not look like it, but he was giving off an aura of both authority and something somewhat equivalent to respect. While Kageyama knew he couldn’t simply speak out his mind or lash out to him, he knew he could open his thoughts to him.

Hinata’s position was simple enough Kageyama might have thought that anyone could have done it and it was common sense but when his eyes fell on him, he immediately felt like Hinata was willing to listen to his problems. Despite the chaos of volleyball stuff around him, his eyes were on him, large brown eyes staring straight into his with focus so intense Kageyama almost felt shivers up his spine.

Aside from his eyes, Kageyama felt warmth coming from him, the sense of someone willing to help him. Not many people in his life have ever portrayed something like that; those who had tried to help him normally gave off a vibe of pity, not empathy. They knew he had a problem but they didn’t quite understand it.

Much like his parents.

His mother had always been around for him but she never quite understood his problems of interacting with his peers and teammates. While when he was younger, it had been interesting for her to see him saying he didn’t quite have any idea on how to interact with other children, as time went on, his mother had got more busy and didn’t have much time to spend with her son. His father was no exception either; he blamed him for having such bad communication skills.

Kageyama Sasuke was a brooding man who lead one of the biggest accounting firms in the country and was always out of the house. Considering how he didn’t seem to be able to convey his feelings across to his son well, always seeming to be hiding behind a scowl and stern face without expressing any interest or love to him, he had managed to handle his work with ease and authority.

More than once had he given Kageyama a look in his eyes for not wanting to follow the path of becoming a businessman and accountant, of rather going down a path where it will all end once his body failed him. It was the look of sympathy, of not respecting his son’s own choice in life and that he was doomed to fail a foolish dream.

Perhaps that’s why Kageyama was so determined to go pro and be the best player there was. To spite him and those who failed him.

To the senior who nearly hit him and was now unable to play himself because of an injury.

To the members who failed to bring him to nationals the first time because of their jealousy.

“Kageyama, are you ready to start?” Hinata asked as Kageyama jolted from his thoughts, massaging his temples a bit before turning to the orange head, who smiled.

“Now then, how about starting from where the problem began and how it is affecting you now.”


	3. Delving into the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the way a therapy normally works is that there will be a few steps:
> 
> 1\. Agree to a contract between client and counsellor in order to establish rules on what to do and what to expect during the session.
> 
> 2\. Client tells their story about the problem and counsellor will try to glean information on how they feel about the problem and how they want to go about fixing it (note that the counsellor is only there to guide them, not give them advice as it would hinder the learning process of the client to gain the necessary skill set to overcome the problem if they faced it again in the future)
> 
> 3\. Try to come up with a solution to it - they can use various methods to do this using certain psychological theories that the counsellor uses that matches with its suitability to the client.
> 
> Please note that I am not a professional and practicing counsellor, just a student who needs to study for her exam and at the same time just wants to rad fanfiction about the Haikyuu gang.
> 
> So this chapter will focus on Kageyama telling his story and I tried to tailor it to suit the situation so dont take it to heart if some of them can be a little bit off course with canon (we dont even know anything about his family so just making assumptions here as I write it).
> 
> Psychological theories explored here will be Rogers humanistic theory where the individual client is treated as unique in all cases (this is just a simple explanation but feel free to pm me for more info!)
> 
> I don't own the characters.

One of the first theories that Hinata had learned during his training days as a counsellor was the humanistic approach, which consisted of six core conditions. While he had liked the fact that it suited his personality and the way he does things very well, he does tend to sometimes also integrate various other theories together and merge them into a therapy tailor made or each client.

Kageyama was no exception to this as he retells his life of being a volleyball player.

Hinata had already established the first three of the core conditions that had been outlines by Rogers, the man who came up with this idea that every individual is unique and has to be treated as the main character in their story.

The first condition was that they needed to be in psychological contact, which had already been established from Kageyama even showing up to the session to begin with. Whether it was if Ushijima had forcefully dragged him there or if he had willingly come himself, all that mattered he was there. For the time being.

Kageyama had already met the second criteria of being in a state of incongruence with what he wanted to be and what he was now. Hinata thought he better make sure he got to work on that to get to the root of the problem before coming up with an action plan for him.

The third condition was that he had to be integrated in the relationship. Hinata had already done what he could to appear as transparent as possible to Kageyama when helping him out and he genuinely wanted him to become better (also so that Japan can win the Olympics!). He didn’t know if he should disclose about having come into contact with Kageyama back in high school but he would bring it up should the need arise.

So when Kageyama retells his story to Hinata, he nearly finds himself on the edge of his seat, listening to the life story of a player who never so much breathed how his family life was and his private life remained a mystery to the public.

“I began volleyball back in elementary school around the age of 10 and it was there I realized my love for the sport. I practiced as hard as I could to get to where I am now but over time, I began to realize I was lacking the ability to communicate well with my teammates. Initially, it didn’t bother me as I only ever wanted to play on the court and win the game, to set to the spiker and not care for what the others did. I only set to those whom I feel will be able to win the game, and that was what I did.

But now, with the Olumpics looming closer and my team starting to annoy the heck out of me with saying I don’t go drinking and partying with them, which I find is an utter waste of time when I could be practicing, my coach began to express his concerns about me not fitting in with the team. While I had been recruited because of my past record of being able to play well, now he is beginning to take note of how bad my team work is.”

“You mentioned that you didn’t care much about whether you worked well in a team. Can you explain a bit more about it?”

“Uh… I think I was more concerned in chasing after my dream of being a setter. I was inspired by my senior to be the best player on the court and wanted to become like him no matter what. I didn’t know how it happened but over time in my middle school years, I began to become more isolated from the rest and not be concerned with what happened to them. I would only focus on the ball at all times, setting to the spikers.”

“How long do you think this problem has gone on?”

“Ever since my senior graduated to high school. Before that, I didn’t have much problems. Until…” Kageyama gulped at that as Hinata waited for him to rearrange his thoughts, “he nearly hit me and ever since then, I had felt somewhat rejected by him. in a way, I felt he hated me and I have no idea what I did.”

“Was he the only one who tried to hit you?” Hinata asked, thinking of what Kageyama had said until his nearly got hit by the person he admired most.

“Some of the others would get mad over the years. More than once have I almost been slammed into the wall or punched in the face when I told them to play better. I was just stating the truth but they took it as a way for me to lord over them and mostly ignored me. We could have done so much better if they had just listened,” Kageyama growled as he clenched his fists.

Hinata thought it was pretty amazing how Kageyama had stuck with a sport that required so much teamwork after so long considering how he seemed to hate working with others. While he had to applaud for him reaching his current standing in the volleyball world, it may only be a matter of time until it got worst for him. Hinata raked his brain for what to say next, forming his words the best he could before looking at Kageyama in the eye.

“Considering volleyball is a sport where everyone works together to win a game, its unusually that you managed to stick around for so long despite not liking to work in a team. Is it because you just wanted to set or was it something else entirely?”

Kageyama bit his lip as he pondered, never quite having the thought of why he had stayed so long in the sport even though no one liked him. He only thought of volleyball as a way to be able to set to others, filling him with the joy that only setting brought to him.

“I only wanted to set and nothing else. As long as I managed to set, I will be able to fulfill myself.”

_“Interesting,”_ Hinata thought as he scribbled down in his writing pad _, “he seemed to be congruent with his usual self but maybe he was staying in the sport for something else…”_

“Is it not because someone asked you to play it in the first place or do you think someone could be influencing you to continue playing it even though you do not like the aspect of teamwork and seem to be struggling with it the most?”

Hinata hoped he hadn’t hit a bad spot on Kageyama as Kageyama’s eyes nearly narrowed to the point of being able to shoot lasers at him as he ran a hand through his short cropped hair before sighing.

“Oikawa-san, the person who I inspired to be back in middle school was someone I admired for a long time and wanted to be like. He may have a trashy personality, but he had the ability to be a magnet and pulled everyone towards him, being able to work on teams of different people every time and making them perform to the best of their abilities. I thought if I could be like that, I would be able to do well on the court….” Kageyama muttered as he thought of how he had failed miserably as vice captain in both middle school and high school.

“When I went to high school, Ushijima-san didn’t mind that I was bad at communication. He only cared that he had a setter who could set to him whenever and wherever he was without any problem. I fulfilled that role to him even until today but when I was finally able to join a good team, it seems like teamwork is more important than just skills.”

“Was there anyone else in your life other than your senior who might have influenced you to play volleyball?” Hinata asked as Kageyama looked torn between answering and not bringing up the question. Hinata had a suspicion it could be from his family but as he glanced at the clock and how time was running out for them, he might have to continue this on a later date.

“Is there anything else you want to let me know before I end the session?”

The awkward silence that followed for the next few minutes made Hinata conclude the session and usher Kageyama to the door, the player seeming to look even more drained then ever as he walked out, the door closing behind him. Hinata thought of how he might not have told anyone of his problems for a long time, bottling everything he had within him until it was finally bursting to the seams.

Glad that his family were supportive of him and that his friends were always around to lend a listening ear to him, Hinata hummed to himself as he quickly put away all the volleyball things he had in his room before getting a drink of water, ready to tackle the next client to walk through the door.

…

For a very long time, Kageyama had no idea if he was doing everything he was doing because he loved it (there was no denying that he loved volleyball and thought of it everyday) but when the stress and frustration of not being able to work with others weaker than him began to escalate, he began to wonder what he was truly doing this for.

Having grown up along most of the time, Kageyama hadn’t quite mastered the art of communication with kids his age and with the rise of technology and messaging apps, he felt like there was no need to do anything when he could just send messages on the phone.

As a child, he would spend most of his time in the garden, trying to peep through other garden gates to see what the other kids were doing. Whenever he heard the cries of happiness and squeals from children playing in the park or going out with their friends, he often felt a pang of sadness of not being able to join them. Even in preschool, whenever he tried to smile and play with the other children, they would scream and run from him, saying he was about to murder him. Even his teachers could deny the fact that they were very afraid of his smile and scowl.

That was when he decided to go home and turn on the television to see a small boy rising through the air, so short yet so powerful as he flew through the air like a crow and slammed the ball onto the other side. His eyes were ferocious along with his smile, a predatory-like grin on his face as he looked down at his opponents. Kageyama thought for a moment that his smile was just like his, scary and intimidating but instead of shying away from him, his teammates crowded around him, laughing and cheering as they celebrated their win.

The Little Giant. That was what they called him.

If someone who looked so fierce could stand on the court with friends around him, Kageyama wanted to be like that too.

Since then, Kageyama had practiced volleyball, doing what he could to practice both in his room and in the local club. While most of the children avoided him because of how angry he looked when they missed, he began to search for a role to suit him on the court where no one would bother him and he wouldn’t have to communicate much.

When he entered middle school, watching the first practice match of the year with Oikawa and Iwaizumi matching up to one another on the court, Kageyama felt Oikawa calling out to him, his long arms reaching to push the ball from underneath him to fly through the air. The sound of the ball tapping his fingers was almost musical as he set it into the air, Iwaizumi yelling as he rose to spike it hard onto the court, scoring the first point for their team.

A setter. The control tower of the team who bends the players to their will. who conducts the team to the music they wished to play. That was what Kageyama wanted to do.

Even if he couldn’t communicate well, if he could guide them with the ball to play the way he wanted them to, the way he saw was fit for them to win, he will continue to play volleyball.

The moment he decided to be a setter also turned out to be the path of ruin for his lack of communication skills.

As he practiced, he failed to realize the jealousy rising from the boy he admired and inspired to be. As he got better and better, growing more oblivious to the ongoing hatred he was receiving from Oikawa, Kageyama made the fatal mistake of asking him to teach a jump float serve, only for the captain to nearly punch him in the face. If Iwaizumi hadn’t been there, he might have broken his nose and Oikawa may have been kicked off the team.

Why did people have to hate him so much? Why did they always assume that he was in the way and that he would never be as good as anyone?

Why did they always want him to act the way they wanted him to act?

Because of him, so many people suffered.

Because of him, more than one person lost their love for volleyball and quit.

Because of him, the person he admired most can never play volleyball again.

Even now, the only reason people looked at him was because he could play volleyball. There was no other condition of worth he had; volleyball was the only thing he had and once that was taken away from him, no one would love him ever again.

That’s why he didn’t care how others thought of him. Why should he play to their song when they ignored him? He didn’t want to develop a self concept of himself bending to other people’s will but over time, he had come to realize he had done just that. He had pushed aside everything else to earn the respect from others through volleyball and nothing else. He thought he should play well so others would accept him, even as a child when he knew the only way people would like him was if he actually got good in something.

Even then, his father refused to acknowledge what he had accomplished.

Kageyama thought that all was lost at this point until he met Hinata.

How could someone accept all his faults, traits of his like his temper and his bad habit of saying things too directly accept him so readily without thinking twice? He never used words that indicated he was judging him and instead made him feel like he was being understood, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

That warmth he now felt was empathy from the counsellor, the feeling of having his thoughts and feelings understood by him. Even though he had refrained talking more about his past with Hinata, he could feel that even though unspoken, Hinata understood the conflict going on in him, all the pain and loneliness he had gone through. Hinata was always reflecting his thoughts by summarizing what he had said earlier and paraphrasing them to ensure he had gotten them right.

Something as simple as paraphrasing instead of spitting out what he had said earlier made Kageyama feel as though someone was listening to him for once.

He wanted to pour everything to Hinata. He wanted to be closer with him, talk to him more and bare out his soul for him. He wanted someone who could understand him, and now he had.

But because of their relationship as client and therapist, now they could never have that kind of close relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know more about what theories or terms that are used here, feel free to leave a comment. I'm always ready and excited to know more about your thoughts and feelings on the subject and it also helps me practice remembering terms and what not for my exam.


	4. The world hates me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may be wondering why I didnt quite place Hinata as the bubbly person he is in this story but in counselling, given how some of the clients might be a bit overwhelmed if their counsellor seems happy when the world is about to crash over their heads, its best to try and remain neutral (although Hinata is feeling excited and everything about helping his favourite volleyball player so will make him a tad bit more bubbly as this progresses).
> 
> This chapter focuses on how a person may have cognitive distortions of the world around him after experiencing many negative events in their life that makes them think that way (this is also explored more in the next chapter) and how to relieve stress and anxiety (well I can't guarantee the latter may work but you can always give it a go. Learnt it in uni so needs to be valid to some degree).
> 
> I don't own the characters.

“What did I do wrong for everyone to hate me?”

Those were the first words of the day that Hinata heard from Kageyama as they sat across each other, the third session going underway as Kageyama fiddled with his thumbs. The boy looked forlorn and even more tired than ever, as though he had enough of life itself.

Hinata had read that the team was going all out with the training for the Olympics and that it was a miracle Kageyama even got time to come for this session but it hurt him to see Kageyama so worn out and saying something that nearly broke his heart.

He couldn’t hate Kageyama. He thought he was misunderstood like so many people he had met and now was dying from the guilt of being in that situation.

“Not everyone can hate you Kageyama! There has to be juts a few people who don’t like you,” Hinata quipped as Kageyama sighed.

“I don’t know. I know my teammates hate me and wish to get me out of the team.”

“But that doesn’t mean Ushijima-san hates you.”

“I don’t know if he’s trying to be nice at this point or if he just sees me as a tool for him to win the game,” Kageyama groaned as Hinata tried to lighten the atmosphere. He could feel the dark cloud hanging over their heads getting more heavy as he quickly tried to change the question.

“How about your previous schoolmates? I don’t think they hate you that much!”

Kageyama’s hands clenched so hard Hinata could see them turn white as he whispered, “Because of me, Oikawa-san cannot play anymore.”

_“Oikawa. That had been the name of the senior that tried to punch him in the face,”_ Hinata thought as he retraced his memories as he asked, hoping he hadn’t stepped on any landmines on the subject.

“What happened to him?”

Hinata didn’t have to be a genius to know what happened. Overwork yourself as an athlete, and you injure something. Injure yourself badly enough and you can never play again on the court.

“Oikawa-san had a knee injury for a long time, even in my middle school days. it got worse when he entered high school and he worked himself so hard to be at my level even though I was the one trying to catch up with him. In his final year, Aoba Johsai, Oikawa and Iwaizumi-san’s old school were playing against us in the finals. We were at match point and would have won the set if Oikawa-san hadn’t run for the ball and dug it. He landed hard on his knee, hard enough for it to shatter. I could still remember the sounds of sirens as he was brought away, Iwaizumi-san by his side even as they told him his knee was damaged beyond repair.

Aoba Johsai lost and I went to nationals for the first time. I was the reason Oikawa-san injured himself and can never play again. I’m sure the rest of the Aoba Johsai team hate me too. Iwaizumi-san, Kindaichi, Kunimi… they all hate me for what I did to Oikawa,” Kageyama whispered as he nearly felt tears springing out from his eyes.

Until now, he felt guilty for what happened to him and if he could turn back the clock, he would have never asked for his help and remain in the shadows. If he hadn’t tried to become better, Japan wouldn’t have lost such a great setter.

Now, the burden lies on his shoulders to ensure their success in the Olympics.

“Kageyama, its not your fault.”

How many times had he heard those word said to him over and over. No matter how many times he apologised, he could never get Oikawa his time back. He would never be able to redeem himself to the man who inspired him to be a setter. He took away everything from everything.

So many dreams he had shattered on the court to fulfill his selfish desires. And yet…

Hinata was the only one who seemed to understand him. He was the only one whose words seemed sincere and filled the gaping black hole of guilt in his heart.

“Kageyama, no one can blame you for what happened to Oikawa-san. He did it to himself, you weren’t the one who caused it…”

“But… but if I hadn’t been around…”

“No one could have controlled what he did. Not even you, Kageyama. So stop blaming yourself so much.”

Kageyama sniffled as he felt the tears break free, his legs moving faster than he could process as he walked out of the room without much of a word, slamming the door hard enough for the walls to rattle.

Hinata remained in his seat, slightly worried he might have chased him off for good as he remembered how distraught Kageyama looked. He felt so bad for him, for all the burden he had on his shoulders he felt he had to prove to the person who can no longer play. In a way, its because Oikawa had been selfish that he was in this position now.

Hinata had seen the other boy once, when he had seen him play against Shiratorizawa. He had sneaked out of school with the rest of the team to see the finals against Shiratorizawa and Aoba Johsai and the game had been a slaughter.

Oikawa had screamed in so much pain, the sound of his knee shattering filling the stadium with dread as people rushed to help him. His teammates had been worried sick and the game basically ended with them getting trashed without their leader. They were nothing without their control tower, the person who made sure all of them knew what they were doing on the court. Even Iwaizumi was unable to bring the team back up and they lost.

He could still remember the shock on Kageyama’s face as his senior was wheeled away, the tears streaking from Oikawa’s eyelids as he hissed in pain. Shock turned to sadness. Sadness turned to guilt.

That had morphed into something than haunted him until now.

Hinata hoped Kageyama would return for the next session. He had a lot of things he needed to discuss with him that would hopefully help him get over his guilt for something that wasn’t his fault.

…

Kageyama grunted as he spiked the ball across the court, sweat beading down his neck as he wiped it away hastily before snatching another ball to spike. The sound of balls bouncing off the walls more often than the court filled the air as Kageyama finally went to his knees, his legs shaking from having practiced through lunch and well past dinner.

As he lay in a heap on the floor, he felt a cold water bottle press onto the side of his face, nearly making him yell as he turned to see Ushijima, whose impassive face showed a hint of concern with a slight tilt of the eyebrows. Kageyama took the bottle from him before taking a swig from it, the water cooling down his throat as Ushijima sat down next to him with a thump.

Ushijima may have always been a scary giant on the court but deep inside, he was someone who, like Kageyama, had learned to bottle up unnecessary feelings. While he was able to handle his emotions without any backlash and still do well on the court, Kageyama was beginning to feel the stress of letting his emotions go wild.

They were going to have a practice match with the Black Jackals in a week and during that match, it would be decided if he would be on the starting line up or on the bench if he still failed to work on his communication skills.

“Kageyama, are you stressed?” Ushijma rumbled as Kageyama grunted, “No. Why would I be?”

“Or are you anxious about the game next week?”

Kageyama couldn’t argue about that as he lay on his back, surrounded by scattered volleyballs as his senior let him take his time in cooling down from exerting himself too much. He knew he shouldn’t worry Ushijima more when he himself had to watch out for his performance but he couldn’t help but feel grateful that at least there was one person from his past that acknowledge him not because of his skills, but as a valuable member to the team.

If that helped Kageyama to think about.

Whenever Kageyama was on the court now, the only thing he could feel was the feeling of tightness in his chest, of his mind racing when he tried to formulate a plan on the court. He could normally pinpoint where to send the ball almost instantaneously on the court but now, he needed a good few seconds to even take notice of where the ball was going. It didn’t help that most of the time he was running low on energy from the lack of sleep after all the midnight runs he had done to even get himself to bed.

All in all, his body was in shit ass condition right now.

“Kageyama, come with me,” Ushijima said as he stood up, his legs already moving to the changing rooms. Kageyama quickly got to his feet, nearly falling sideways from the sudden rush of blood to his head when he felt a hand on his elbow, Ushijima steadying him as he did a very uncharacteristic-like thing; he clicked his tongue.

“You are very tired. You need a break.”

After showering and getting packed for the day, Kageyama found himself being driven into the city and being lead into what appeared to be a karaoke centre. Kageyama wondered if Ushijima had really lost his mind from being stressed out about the upcoming games as they walked up the stairs, a staff member leading them to a private room to reveal a man with a shock of wild red hair grinning at the door.

“Ah, you managed to drag him along, Wakatoshi-kun!” Tendou grinned as he swung his arm around both of them before dragging them into the room.

Some of the other Shiratorizawa members were there as well. Reon gave them a wave from the couch while Semi looked torn between leaving the room and waiting around to see how bad the two were at singing. Tendou on the other hand looked like he had just been given the best birthday gift of his life as he dragged them into the room, slamming the door behind them and forcing them onto the couch. Kageyama tried not to shift uncomfortably around his former seniors as Tendou shouted.

“Now then! How about we start with the fun? Not good to be wind up all the time, Kageyama-kun so let’s make some noise!” he yelled as he began to sing to a heavy metal song.

Ushijima remained impassive the entire time while Kageyama munched on what food had been brought there as he tried not to die from hearing wave after wave of bad singing. Reon looked like he was enjoying himself a little too much, banging the tambourine to the beat while Semi was drinking way too much in order to get into a state where he didn’t care for bad music.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Ushijima asked, nearly having to shout over the horrible singing Reon and Tendou were doing now that they decided to go as a duet on an old folksong while Semi clapped them on. It was rare for him to even go for these events, having skipped majority of them to go for training and Kageyama was no exception.

Besides, Kageyama didn’t like the fact that he had to be near Semi, the third year setter who didn’t get to play on the court when he was around because he and another first year, Shirabu had been spotted as better talents. Their coach had praised them for being some of the best setters in the team and with Semi pushed to the sidelines, barely even making it to the bench in his final year, he had somewhat of a deep hatred towards them, although they didn’t bother to care.

Now that he was high on alcohol, Kageyama didn’t know if he might blurt the first thing that came to his mind as he took a swig of his beer and slammed it on the table before glaring at Kageyama.

“Oi… Kageyama. You better drink up since we’re paying for this. Don’t make your previous seniors money go to wasteeee…..” he hiccupped as he gagged slightly, “Ushijima made us have this and I have to deal with their horrible singing so you better make it a good time.”

This time, he lurched as he ran for the bathroom, the sound of vomiting and a squeal coming from the hallway as Reon quickly went to see if Semi was alright. Tendou looked outright amused at what was going on outside, setting the microphone onto the table as he looked at the two volleyball players in the eye.

“Ushijima-san… did you organize this?” Kageyama half whispered as Tendou laughed, “Surprised you eh? That guy doesn’t even normally go karaoke with us but he said you needed to unwind a little with your big game coming up. I heard you had somewhat of an issue now.”

Tendou pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, scrolling over some volleyball tabloid articles before handing it to Kageyama, who paled slightly when he saw some articles that had been written about him. There was no such thing for volleyball players in defending their teammates at all times when they were asked about them in interviews and his own playing style in matches said enough even though he had never heard it said in his face.

He was a bad teammate and people would rather have a weaker but friendlier player on a team than a king who rules over his subjects with an iron fist.

The old nickname came back to haunt him, making him relive his days of being in Kiitagawa Daiichi of being shunned by his team and eventually, his own current team. Shiratorizawa may have made him strong, but his communication skills were dismal.

“Excuse me, Ushijima-san. Tendou-san,” Kageyama muttered as he gave a quick bow to them before bolting out of the door, running as fast as he could out of the doors into the noisy streets of Tokyo. He pulled up his hood to hide his face and block out the sound of the streets around him, wishing he could hurry home as fast as he could and stay there, alone but at peace.

“Wakatoshi-kun, are you sure Kageyama-kun didn’t look so fab,” Tendou mused as Reon finally brought back a slightly half dead Semi, who promptly collapsed onto the couch and passed out as Reon wiped a damp clothe on his head. Ushijima sighed as he held up his phone, the page having been marked on an ebook on self help he had got not long ago from Amazon as Tendou tried not to laugh.

How to help someone relieve their stress:

  1. Exercise and diet


  * decrease physical effects of ‘flight and fight’ response through exercise and diet
  * less caffeine, exercise and enough sleep required



  1. Posture and breathing


  * breath slow and calm, not faster and more breaths
  * straighten back and lift chin to appear more confident
  * open shoulders to free lungs and take slow steady breaths
  * smile and make eye contact to gain reassurance



  1. Laughter


  * relax muscles
  * trigger release of endorphins
  * increase pain tolerance
  * increase immune system



  1. Relaxation strategies can combat fight or flight


  * progressive relaxation
  * meditation
  * mindfulness
  * yoga



  1. Doing nothing for 10 minutes


  * literally do nothing



  1. Connecting with others


  * connect with family or friends
  * sharing a space with a stranger



Tendou let out a squawk as Ushijima took back the phone, slowly the slightest bit of embarrassment with the bright red coating his ears as he pocketed the phone, Tendou laughing as he held his sides.

“Are you serious, Wakatoshi? You’re reading self help books now? I thought you never got stressed since you have nothing but volleyballs for brains,” Tendou croaked as Reon sighed, “Everyone gets stressed Tendou. Even Ushijima.”

“This wasn’t for me. It was for Kageyama.”

“You’d think he actually care about those articles? He’s been as dense as a brick wall could get ever since he was in middle school so why is he getting affected by it now? Unless…” Tendou snapped his fingers as Ushijima nodded.

“He’s been getting ignored by majority of the team. Even though I try to help him by staying with him for more practice, he’s getting more burned out and tensed by the day. At this rate, he might collapse from overwork or injure himself trying to distract himself.”

“Well , it did say exercise can help but guess too much wouldn’t do any good either,” Tendou said as Semi stirred on the chair, groaning as Reon tried to steady him up. Semi’s shirtfront stank of vomit and Ushijima had to do his best not to throw up himself as the silver-haired man growled.

“That guy better don’t chicken out now. If he even had the guts to ignore me and the countless others weaker than him all these years, he better not die because of some newspaper articles,” he growled before gripping his stomach and running to the bathroom, Reon following on his heels as the door shut behind them. Tendou and Ushijima sank into the couch, Ushijima hoping he hadn’t made things worse for Kageyama by bringing him together with his ex-teammates.

Ushijima had no idea on what his family life was like so he couldn’t ask him to go home and take time off seeing his family. He had never so much seen Kageyama gone home during the team holidays, most of them having been spent working out in the gym or training with him. All he knew was his father was a powerful man in the business industry and that was that.

Ushijima had hoped that Shiratorizawa would be the home that Kageyama would return to but guess he was wrong. He could only hope that a certain orange-haired counsellor would be able to help Kageyama through this, or his bright future might be ruined by his own hands.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Even though i finished my exams and started writing this for revision, my brain just wouldn't let me write and while I have ideas stewing away in my brain for this story and an original story I'm developing, I just can't seem to write. I don't know if its writer's block or knowing just how bad my writing has become over time but I'm going to press on and continue this story.
> 
> Whenever I write a story, no matter how long it takes : I will eventually finish it! (this especially goes for my Owari no Haikyuu story which has been on hiatus for months). As a reader myself, I hate it when stories go on hiatus and writer's disappear from the face of the earth without reading them so I promise on my pride as a writer, I will finish this story no matter what.
> 
> Thank you for sticking around with my sorry ass of being a poor writer and hope you enjoy this story!

Hinata was surprised and very grateful that Kageyama had opted to return to the next session. He couldn’t believe it had been three sessions already since he had first met him in the beginning of the month and now that they were into their fourth week out of the ten week contract, he hoped he might be able to get somewhere with it.

There had to be something else holding Kageyama back. He knew now of his issues with his past with his seniors and teammates but there had to be something else he wasn’t telling. But he needed to respect his space and let him come out with it on his own terms, although it will be one of the hardest things to do.

Kageyama hadn’t denied he had all the problems to begin with, which was a good thing. What he had done instead was probably pushing back all the memories to the back of his mind and in an attempt to forget about them, had tried to put out those feelings and emotions onto others.

It could be very well stemming from early into his childhood from his parents. Hinata felt Kageyama had a bit of an issue when it came to loneliness and acceptance, always trying to go all out to meet expectations but never quite meeting what others wanted. While his skill has grown, the other aspects of his personality haven’t and it was affecting him.

Hopefully today’s session would change things up about it.

“Hi Kageyama,” Hinata smiled as he beckoned Kageyama into his seat. The other boy was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with the word Hollywood splashed on it in a bad attempt to hide his face. While Hinata tried not to laugh at how obvious he looked in the get up, he was even more surprised than his bad outfit when Kageyama bowed low to him, nearly at the waist level as Hinata squeaked.

“I’m very sorry for last week! I lost my temper and walked out on you and didn’t give you an explanation afterwards! It was very selfish of me and I apologise!” he shouted as he bowed, his voice almost loud enough to carry out into the hallway as Hinata begged him to lift his head.

“Ahh, its ok Kageyama! Please, raise your head. Don’t worry about it! It happens a lot and I’m happy you came back!” he squeaked as Kageyama raised his eyebrows. Behind the shades, Hinata couldn’t make out what Kageyama was thinking but he hoped he knew that he sincerely wished to help him get better and become a better person.

There was a knock on the door as Kageyama froze, his hands rigid as someone spoke from the other side.

“Uh, Hinata-kun, is everthing alright? I heard someone shouting just now..” Yachi, the receptionist and owner of the company, called as Hinata smiled, “Its ok! Its nothing, he was getting a little excited!”

Hinata nearly slapped his face at how the sentence could be misinterpreted by someone if they had heard it instead of Yachi and even Kageyama looked shocked at his answer as Yachi went her way, her heels clicking on the sleek floor as Kageyama slumped into his chair at long last and whipped off his cap and sunglasses. Dark blue eyes looked at Hinata, scanning his face for an explanation for earlier before giving up when he realized how much time he had wasted glancing at the G-Shock watch on his wrist.

“Sorry about that Kageyama. Uh… why don’t you start by saying what is on your mind?” Hinata asked as he prayed Kageyama would come up with something else to work with today when Kageyama said.

“I’m not on good terms with my father. Ever since I was young, he has been working away from home most of the time and he wanted me to venture and take over his business ever since I went to school. When I discovered volleyball, I didn’t want anything to do with having to sit down for hours and studying boring rules and regulations on finance and marketing,” he blanched as Hinata laughed, thinking of how much he himself hated having to go to the books during class last time in high school. It was a good thing for him that counselling required more practice than memorizing theories, although he still needed them.

“It didn’t make him happy when my studies plummeted. No, they weren’t very good to begin with but when I managed to get into middle school without any worries, he didn’t seem to mind until I was in my high school years. That was when he wanted me to go to a good business school in Tokyo instead of letting me go to Shiratorizawa, despite me having a sports scholarship and recommendation to enter. I didn’t listen, instead choosing to follow my dream of becoming a volleyball player, so we haven’t been speaking much since then.”

“Forgive me for asking, but is your mother aware of this or is she…”

“Mother runs a bit of an online fashion business and is normally outside surveying the latest trends and hanging out with her friends. She didn’t spend much time with me either and didn’t mind much about what I did with my life. Although I felt like the main reason she kept staying out was to avoid my father who would normally hit her if she tried to defend me when I had to talk about my future. Things could get very violent, even when I was young, when Father compared me with the children of his business partners.

Some of them were actually volleyball players in Tokyo who not only excelled in sports but also in studies. Kuroo Tetsurou and Akaashi Keiji were some of them; I rarely spoke to them and only so much saw them at social events when I was younger. I may have played them on the court during nationals over the years but I have forgotten,” Kageyama sighed as Hinata tried not to squeal about how he couldn’t remember the best blocker and setter in Tokyo. Both of them continued volleyball after high school and were still going strong in professional teams alongside their partners.

“Father told me I should be like them; able to study hard and be the best in a prepatory class and do well in sports. I knew I couldn’t do well in classes so I put my all into becoming a good setter. I wanted him to see that if I focused all my might into one thing, I would be able to do well instead of having to deal with studying which I wasn’t good at to begin with. Volleyball was the only thing I ever liked and wanted to do forever, but he denied me of all of that. I feel everyone around me just hates me with a vengeance.”

Kageyama barely breathed as he spoke out his thoughts, having had told anyone of them this entire time, not even to Ushijima. He was scared to have told Hinata everything in the beginning since he only knew him after three hours of interaction in three weeks but he felt he could pour out everything to him without any judgement.

“Did you speak to your father after you managed to get into professional volleyball?”

“He hasn’t said a word to me. Mother asked me to come home a few times but I rather stay here than go back to that stuffy house.”

Hinata thought about what Kageyama had told him. So his father had been the main reason he was so aggressive towards doing well. But what made him so bad at communicating to begin with?

“Kageyama, did you have a lot of problems communicating with your father?”

“He wasn’t a man who talked much but when it does, its often because he wanted to yell at me and hurt me. When I was younger, it was often to compare me with other children of his partners and I often felt very belittled by him. No matter what I did to rise to the top, nothing was ever good enough for him. Even for others, even on the court… why couldn’t they just see me set and spike the ball according to my plan?” he snapped as he gripped the armrests so hard Hinata was scared he might break them for a minute when he realized he had raised his voice and quickly gave a bow of apology.

“I’m sorry again! I didn’t mean to lose my temper.”

“Don’t worry, Kageyama. That’s what I’m here for, to help and listen to your problems. You’re not doing anything to offend me. Unless you hit me in the face of course; that might be a bit of a problem,” Hinata grinned as Kageyama’s heart settled for a moment before the counsellor said.

“Do you feel that because of your rejection by your father, you are afraid of being rejected by others?”

Hinata didn’t want to plant any ideas in his head but this might be something connecting to the ghosts of Kageyama’s past and of the present.

“I was afraid of getting benched. I did get benched when I was in Kitagawa Daiichi after a failed finals match and I had felt nothing but hurt for having failed the others like what I did with my Father. My biggest fear on the court is to not be able to lead the team to victory and watch it crumble before my eyes.”

Hinata scratched away on his notepad, writing down all the information he could get as he slowly began to formulate how he could go about helping him.

Kageyama’s view on the world had been distorted from a bad relationship with his father and this had affected how he viewed the world for others. He may have been making arbitiary inferences on the situation with the limited information he had from his lack of interaction with others along with selectively picking out what the others thought of him. Not everyone could have treated him that badly; there had to be at least someone who didn’t hate him.

“Kageyama, you mentioned everyone hated you. Ushijima-san was the one who helped you come here. Do you think he hates you?”

“Ushijima-san has been one of the main reasons I managed to stay in volleyball. I….” Kageyama swallowed as he continued, “I wasn’t the best there was but working with an ace like him gave me the chance to practice my skills. I didn’t give the chance to Semi-senpai to be the main setter despite him being a third year, but I managed to gain the experience to become who I am today.”

“Do you think your old teammates hated you? Despite you taking his place, Semi-san doesn’t seem to hate you?”  
  


“I don’t know if he hates me. He did come along for a karaoke the other night that Ushijima-san had organized to cheer me up but I don’t know… Tendou-san has always been a bit mad and odd and Reon-san is nice to everyone,” Kageyama grunted as he ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to rake his thoughts.

Hinata thought that perhaps, Kageyama was thinking things out of proportion and labelling people wrongly.

Well, this may be a lot to work with but its something.

“Alright Kageyama. Let’s try to formulate a plan on how we can deal with this,” Hinata grinned as Kageyama’s eyes shone, hope filling them as Hinata walked him through the final moments of the session in preparation for what he had to do next.

…

Kageyama hated his childhood. He hated life at home in general, never being able to be his own persona and doing whatever he wanted to do without complains from his father. His mother may not care much, but he wished he had someone to pour out his concerns to in his worst times.

He tried so hard to please his father, but he never said he did enough. It hurt him to the core, so he decided he wouldn’t try to please his father and instead turn to please himself.

Then in middle school, he had met Oikawa, who in turn rejected him and nearly hit all because he wanted help. Ever since then, he had never dared to ask for help, slowly getting more withdrawn from the team as he practiced on his own.

His mother once told him he had a nice smile, he was wondering if she had been bullshitting the whole time.

He knew he should stop yelling.

He knew he should stop shouting remarks.

He knew he had to be more cooperative.

But he will continue. So the team would survive and win all the way to nationals. To stay on the court as the strongest team.

In the beginning, it had worked as he didn’t care about how his teammates thought of him but now it was getting out of control. He had denied he was the one in fault by arguing with the team countless of times that they just needed to speed up to match him instead of him having to match them. When that failed, he had nearly resorted to physical violence and Ushijima had to drag him away to avoid a brawl in the team. The other team members had then reported to the coach that they couldn’t stand working with him anymore, and that was when he received the notice of possibly being kicked out if he didn’t work on polishing his teamwork.

He had been going mad about it, pleading with the coach that he would train harder and work the best he could with the team, although he made the comment of wishing to do everything on his own if he couldn’t match up with the others. The coach had sighed as he looked sadly at Kageyama, as though he had just dug up his own grave as he said.

_“You are a good player Kageyama. So are the others. You are the best in the country, you should make use of these other talents. Everyone on this side of the court,” he said as he waved a hand onto the court that was below them, filled with players practicing spikes and serves with fineness, “is your ally. Don’t you forget that. It’s the team that sticks together and works well that is strong, not a single player who fights on his own on the court.”_

Ushijima had found him afterwards lurking in the changing rooms, his towel over his head as he tried to hide the tears pouring from his eyes. He had felt so crushed, so lost even after all the bargaining he had gone with the coach on his circumstances. He felt so hopeless, so lost, so frustrated about everything that has happened.

_If I do not play volleyball, no one will accept me._

_Oikawa-san would have injured himself for nothing._

_Father and Mother will never accept me._

_I will be all alone._

“No, you’re not alone,” Ushijima had said as Kageyama slowly lifted his face, trying to wipe his tears away as Ushijima handed him a card, the name of a counselling agency written on the top in bold called “Karasuno Counselling Centre” with a crow perched on top of it. A telephone number was written at the bottom of it as Kageyama eyed the card, not wanting to take it.

He wasn’t mad. He didn’t need therapy.

“Kageyama, I have already made an appointment on your next off day for a counselling session.”

“Ushijima-san, I….”

“Counselling isn’t only for those who have mental illness. It is a place for you to talk to someone in a space where you can tell everything and it remains confidential. I am worried for your health, Kageyama, as well as the team. I do not want a setter to bring down the whole team because of his selfishness. But…” Ushijima said as Kageyama opened his mouth, wanting to protest at the words that rang true from Ushijima’s mouth when the giant turned to face him, his eyes even more intimidating than when they were in high school, but also filled with more compassion then ever.

“I do not want a friend of mine losing his dream because of something that is solvable.”

With Ushijima paying for the sessions for him and even offering to bring him to and fro from sessions (mostly to make sure he didn’t run away since Kageyama was famous for running away from things he didn’t like. He had done it more than once when he was in Shiratorizawa what he had to do English exams), Kageyama had no choice but to go.

So far, he hadn’t regretted attending them yet.

His future now lay in his hands and with his partnership with Hinata. Without that orange-haired counsellor, he thought he might have gone mad by now from the stress and anxiety of the whole situation.

That night, he sat at his desk, his hand holding onto a pen as it hovered over a small diary covered with volleyballs which Hinata had given him earlier. While Kageyama tried not to think that it looked a little childish, he couldn’t help but feel happy that Hinata knew what he liked and gave him something that resembled him as he started writing down what he had told him.

“Kageyama, are you ready for dinner?” Ushijima asked as he stood at the doorway, the hulking player wearing an apron around his waist covered with strawberries and a pan of fried rice in his hand. He had offered a place for Kageyama to stay when he had to move to Tokyo since he had an extra room after Tendou moved out to work in a different part of the city and Kageyama had been grateful and indebted to him for helping him through the hardest and loneliest stages of his life.

Especially cooking for him. Ushijima makes good food, especially omurice.

“Sorry Ushijima-san, I’m almost ready,” he mumbled as he finished off the final sentence, Ushijima moving in to peer over his shoulder to see what Kageyama had written down.

Three things I am grateful for today

  1. Being able to play volleyball
  2. Being able to stay with Ushijima-san who takes care of me



His face reddened slightly as Ushijima patted him on the shoulder before shuffling out to finish dinner, telling Kageyama to write before the food got cold. Kageyama was glad he didn’t say anything about number 3 but Kageyama couldn’t help but feel that was one of the main reasons he still felt he could continue with life.

  1. Being able to speak to Hinata about my problems



By writing three things he was grateful for everyday in a diary, it helped him see that there was something out there that brought him joy and was good even though he had a lot of problems.

_“For every negative thing that happened, write three positive things to counter it. Its not wrong to be happy or cheesy, no one is going to read it!”_ Hinata had grinned as Kageyama eyed the notebook he handed to him. The first thing that had come to his mind was why he needed to do this when he had a bigger crisis on hand but he quickly pushed it away, thinking back to what Hinata had mentioned.

_“Stop overthinking, Kageyama! Its just going to hurt your head more and you don’t have much brains to use anyways.”_

_“I… I have a brain, dumbass!”_

_“Eh, I thought you hated studying…”_

_“Hinata-boke!”_

Kageyama blushed at their little bickering session from earlier, wondering if he had gone a little too far with name calling but as he closed the notebook and headed for dinner, he felt like he had finally found a missing piece in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter onwards would probably be how his therapy commences so we're about the halfway point of this story now.


	6. First step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back on the writing track! After hearing all those wonderful comments from you guys, I fought to get past the writer's block and march onwards in completing this story. Its been a hard week, but I will continue marching on!
> 
> So in this chapter, Kageyama will be working out how to face his fears made up of the people he had hurt or had hurt him in the past and in a way, he's working a way up a hierarchy of fear, where in therapy its normally used for phobias where a person tries to overcome their fear by taking small steps in overcoming it. I don't know if this is done in real life but I think its an interesting way for Kageyama to go through his problems using this method (note I am not a real counsellor, just a student aspiring to be one and putting her love for Haikyuu into the mix).
> 
> There is a high wall looming before me. I wonder if I will ever get to see the view on the other side. But.... with the help of others around me, I just might be able to see the view on the summit.
> 
> Enjoy the story!

Kageyama hated having to confront people, especially the ones that made him feel insignificant and rejected. The last thing he wanted to do was to walk up to them and confront them about the past.

With his future on the line, this was about the only time he might be able to get things sorted and let the ghosts of the past cease their haunting on him.

What Hinata had proposed was since he felt rejected by the ghosts of his past and they were what was hindering him from moving forward with his new team and life, it may be the best way for Kageyama to meet with the people he felt he might have wronged and asked them about what they truly felt about the situation. While he feels it might involve a lot of apologizing from his end and probably reopening a lot of old wounds, this might be the only way for him to get his life back in order.

Hinata had made a plan of continuing his therapy within the counselling session of giving him self help books of how to improve himself by coming to terms with his cognitive distortions as well as walking it through with him. While he could have taken them home and done them on their own, which was highly unlikely since he hated homework with a vengeance and his reading wasn’t great either (Kageyama fell asleep right off the bat the moment his eyes fell on a book that wasn’t involved with volleyball). That was when Hinata proposed while trying to do the exercises that he tried to talk to the people who had played a part in his life and shaped him to who he was today; starting with Ushijima.

While Kageyama had so far gotten along ‘well’ with Ushijima, he knew he had hindered the wing spiker a lot by having him stick up for him all these years and helping him get onto a team. Back in high school, there had been a time Ushijima hadn’t exactly warmed up to him but over the course of time and working together, they became a set of spiker and setter that were unbeatable on the court.

After Hinata made him list down the people who had impacted his life by making him feel as though he was rejected and not needed on the court, he had sat down with him and gone through the list, numbering the ones who would be easier to approach before making his way to the top. It was almost as though Kageyama was climbing up a ladder where his biggest fears increased the higher he ascended; a hierarchy of fear. Hinata figured Kageyama wasn’t the type of person who would get anywhere with roundabout methods of trying to go through self help books and felt it would be better for him to take action and work actively on improving his life.

Hinata had found it odd that Kageyama felt he was burdening Ushijima with everything that happened but he didn’t question the setter’s reasoning, instead talking through with him about how he should be honest to Ushijima about his feelings.

Inititally, Hinata had wondered if this was the right method for him to use but during his supervision session with Sugawara and the other counselors in his team, he had felt that this was the best way to go. Sugawara had even gone up to him afterwards, saying it was a pretty interesting idea and couldn’t wait to see how it unfold and if things turned out well, if he could get a spare ticket to go for one of Kageyama’s games. Hinata grinned as he thought of how his senior could be when it comes to trying to get some random favours to see the sport that drew all of them together, leading them to where they were now.

Hinata prayed that Kageyama would be able to go through this until the end and that by the end of it, Kageyama would stand tall on the court and play the games he deserved to play.

As Hinata leaned back in his chair, he closed his eyes as he imagined himself looking into a mirror, the edges of it cracked or stained with black or brown stains. The image of himself staring back at him was the only clear thing reflected in the mirror, the rest blurred after years of having been scratched by the world and darkened by the dark thoughts plaguing Kageyama distorting the image of the setter staring back at them.

Kageyama stood in front of the mirror, Hinata at his side as slowly, Hinata’s image staring back at them as Hinata restrained himself from reaching out to Kageyama and curling a hand around him. It wasn’t his place to walk in Kageyama’s shoes, but rather help guide him through the maze of his thoughts and heart; by his side.

As they stood together, Hinata wondered how it would have been like if Kageyama had stood beside him like this on the court, setting the ball to him as he flew through the air and spiked the ball onto the other side.

If this were another world, perhaps, they could have been partners on the court.

For now, he was going to be the one standing by his side, guiding him down the path to realize the dreams he couldn’t achieved himself.

Hinata will help Kageyama realize that despite the wall looming high above his head, shielding the view from the other side, as long as he was by his side, Kageyama will be able to see that view once more.

…

Kageyama was pretty nervous about confronting with Ushijima about something other than volleyball. When Hinata had first told him the idea, he had immediately shut it down, saying whatever came out of his mouth normally involved belittling people or just phrasing things the wrong way that people thought he hated them or deemed them inferior (not to mention his facial expressions didn’t help either).

The counsellor had said it was fine however, so he thought he might as well try it out. With the deadline of him being able to fix things up with his team looming in a months’ time, he best try to make things better or he could kiss his future goodbye.

As he got into Ushijima’s car, he could almost feel a wall closing around him, blocking his view of the outside world as they rumbled off onto the main road. Kageyama’s heart thundered in his chest as he tried to formulate his thoughts, trying to think of what to say without offending Ushijima. Even though the man may seem like he didn’t give a shit on what anyone said about him, he was only human and words hurt a lot; Kageyama had dealt a lot of damage to people in his life with that tactic.

He could feel himself getting pulled further away from his goal, Ushijima becoming an image he couldn’t reach as Kageyama cried out, trying to grasp onto the picture in front of him as he felt concrete rising around him.

_The wall was so tall, looming over him as it threatened to suffocate him. He could feel his feet getting rooted to the ground, unable to move as he tried to break free. The tendrils snaking around his legs got tighter as they tried to drag him under, the floor turning into quicksand under his feet as Kageyama tried to cry out._

_“Someone, help.”_

_As though hearing his cry, he could see a ball of light heading towards him, hand outstretched as he reached out to Kageyama and held onto his hand, a smile on his face as he pulled Kageyama up. Kageyama could almost feel his body getting lighter as he saw Hinata in front of him, an ethereal angel of light as he held onto his hand, giving it a light squeeze as he pointed to Ushijima, whose eyes remained fixed on the road as Hinata said._

_“I will be here with you, always, Kageyama.”_

“Kageyama, are you ok? You haven’t been answering my questions for the past ten minutes,” Ushijima rumbled from behind the steering wheel as Kageyama jerked out of his thoughts. He had completely zoned out in his own head ever since he got in and he quickly gave himself a mental pat when he felt a warm sensation on his shoulder.

It was almost as though Hinata was by his side, giving him the courage and warmth to stand on the court.

“Ushijima-san, back when we were in high school, I knew I was being an asshole. When you told me I won’t be of any use to you unless I became better, I threw aside everything and work to be at the top, at the expense of making the team hate me. I know Semi-san hates me because he couldn’t play in his final year and I made a lot of people hate me when I reprimanded them for not playing properly. I wanted to catch up to be like you; I wanted to be like you. Even though I threatened to pull the team apart, why… why did you bother saving me?”

Kageyama felt hollow after letting all those feelings out, his hands shaking as he tried to calm himself down when Ushijima spoke.

“You were an asset to the team. In all my years, I have never seen a setter as good as you. Even though you did threaten to pull the team apart a few times, you were useful on the court in the end. In Shiratorizawa, we only cared for the best to be on the court; whether we could work together was another thing entirely.”

As they pulled around the corner, getting closer to their home, Kageyama remembered the day he had first been brought in by Ushijima, the older player opening his home to him when he was a lost soul in the large city of Tokyo. He had groomed him to become a good setter and helped him gain a reputation on the court. He owed everything to him.

“Semi didn’t hate you. He was jealous, yes, but he put aside his feelings for the betterment of the team.”

They pulled up into the parking lot of the apartment, the place mostly devoid of cars now that it was still working hours but those didn’t apply to them. Ushijima killed the engine as he turned off the ignition, his head swiveling around to look at Kageyama without breaking eye contact. Kageyama could remember the first time he looked straight on at Ushijima and the shivers his brown gaze had sent down his spine, making him feel as though he was going to get pulverized on the court should anything happen.

“You are a good person, Kageyama. It was just the unfortunate luck of having to have people who didn’t understand you pass through your life and you taking the wrong steps in overcoming them. The most important thing is that you understand the error of your ways, and that you have.”

Ushijima reached out as he placed a hand on Kageyama’s a shoulder, a gesture he had received many times on the court over the years. The warmth spreading through his body was accompanied by the slow smile on Ushijima’s face, an expression of pride gracing his features as he said.

“An excellent seedling needs suitably excellent soil. It’s can’t yield first-rate fruit on barren land. Although that may be the case for most people, at times, fruit can still rise from the concrete and bloom into something spectacular.”

While Kageyama didn’t seem to understand exactly what he said, he felt something in his heart click into place, a tiny crack sealing itself up as he felt it becoming slightly more whole. As he slowly followed Ushijima up the stairs to their flat, he could almost feel as though an unresolved conflict within him had been resolved, and a feeling of happiness filled him.

“Eh, Tobio-kun! Your face is a little creepy!” a voice hooted from within as Ushijima swung open the door to reveal Tendou, a party hat on his head as some party poppers went off over their heads. Kageyama nearly slammed against the railing behind him as the old members of Shiratorizawa’s third years team stood at the threshold, grins on their faces as a large banner hung over his head. Kageyama wondered how he could even miss that as Tendou laughed.

“Leave it to Tobio-kun to miss out such a large banner! I wonder how he even manages to play volleyball when he can’t even see something like this from the distance,” Tendou laughed as he clutched his sides from laughing too much. Kageyama was confused as Ushijima pushed him into the flat, the place decorated and the table laden with food that Reon had cooked, the chef himself grinning from the kitchen with an apron thrown over his old Shitarizawa uniform when Tendou clapped his hands.

“And let’s go, Semi-semi!” he yelled as Semi began to strum a guitar, his legs crossed as he sat on the sofa of the living room located across the kitchen as the four of them, even Ushijima although he sang in a deadpan voice, sang.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Tobio, happy birthday to you!”

As claps and laughter rang around him, Kageyama could feel his body shaking as the first tears came out, Tendou laughing at him crying for something to simple while Semi told him to shut up. From behind, Ushijima gave Reon a thumbs up on the success of the cooking as Reon carried a large white strawberry cake with 23 candles on it over to them. Kageyama could barely contain his tears as he blew out the candles, his seniors huddled around him as he whispered under his breath.

“Thank you. Thank you, for being here for me, senpais.”

He bent his head in a bow as Reon narrowly managed to avoid getting the cake knocked off his hands, the four of them jumping back as Kageyama shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Thank you for the years of support I had from you! I never realized how amazing seniors you are and I will never forget your teachings on the court!” he yelled even as more tears came out, snot beginning to come out from his nose as he sobbed, all sorts of feelings crashing out of him in waves as he cried.

Happiness.

Gratitude.

Teamwork.

He nearly fell onto the floor as both Semi and Tendou slung their arms around him, Semi pulling him into a chokehold as Tendou tried to rub his fist on his head as Semi snapped, “Don’t you going dying on me now, Kageyama! If you don’t get out of this bratty emo phase and get onto the Olympic team, I’m gonna kick your ass off this building.”

“Now now, if you do that, you’re going to get arrested for murder,” Tendou smirked as Reon tried to pry them apart, the cake now forgotten on the table.

People to make up to:

  1. Ushijima
  2. Reon
  3. Tendou
  4. Semi



There was two groups down; another three to go.


	7. There is no I in the team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get my shit together and wrote a couple of chapters for this story last night. I feel so pumped writing for it as my fingers flew across the keyboard and I hope that this can be done sometime soon, maybe end of this week.
> 
> I really want to thank SilverIcy for their comments, it really got me going after reading it and gave me the strength and ideas to continue writing this story. I always thought my stories might not be of people's taste since they dont often involve ships and what not but I'm so glad someone takes the time to comment about it.
> 
> Also shoutout to SabaTobiou for commenting as well and the 10 people who left kudos on this work. Being able to wake up and see that somewhere in the world, someone had at least hit this story and read through it and to leave a kudos for it brings joy to my heart.
> 
> Alright, on to the story! You might remember a few of these guys if you've read the manga hehe.
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Hinata could barely contain the bounce in his step as he walked for lunch, his happiness catching the attention of the various staff members seated around their lunch tables as he sat down, bento in hand when someone spoke up in front of him.

“Hinata, what is making you this happy?” Suga asked as Hinata realized Suga had been sitting there the entire time. He merely let out a giggle as he sat across his senior, the silver haired man wondering what had gotten into him when Hinata pulled out a ticket from his pocket and wiggled it in front of his face.

“Kageyama got me tickets for his game this weekend! I’m so excited; the Schweiden Adlers are one of the best teams in the league and I get to see them play against the Black Jackals too! Ahh, this is going to be so cool! I haven’t seen Bokuto-san in action for a while now and seeing him go against Ushijima-san will be so cool! I wonder if Kageyama might be able to get me close enough to get an autograph from Bokuto but they’re on separate teams,” Hinata gushed as Suga’s cowlike wiggled on his head.

“Hi-na-ta-ku-n. Did you forget to get me a ticket as well?” he smirked, the smile on his face dangerous as Hinata felt sweat bead on his brow as he mentally yelled at himself for not asking Kageyama to get an extra ticket for him. He knew Suga was a big fan of Ushijima and would love to meet the man in person, although the last thing he had expected during his session that day was for Kageyama to jump the gun and hand him over a VIP pass for the game that weekend.

Suga laughed as he saw how his kohai had paled so much at his words, moving to slap him on the back several times to get his brain in working order as he laughed, “Don’t worry, Hinata! I was just kidding.”

“Suga-san, you can be very scary, you know that…” a voice sighed as a man with a freckled face and dark brown hair turned to face them. Yamaguchi, another one of their colleagues and partner from their Karasuno days turned around in the seat behind them as Suga gave him a grin, the man shuffling over to move his chair in between them as he eyed the ticket.

“Still, are you sure you can actually accept the ticket from a client? I mean, doesn’t it go against boundaries of being able to receive gifts from clients?” Yamaguchi murmured as he sipped on his coffee before blanching at the bitterness from it as Suga proceeded to drink his, the drink void of any sugar and milk as Yamaguchi looked ready to puke from the sight of it.

Hinata eyed the ticket as he thought back to when Kageyama had told him about how his talk with his ex-seniors from Shiratorizawa had gone the previous week. According to him, everything had gone well when they decided to throw a surprised birthday party for him and he managed to convey his feelings to them during the party. Although Hinata didn’t know if getting accepted when someone was drunk counted as making up but he would take it for now that Kageyama had the ball rolling in his progress.

_“Hinata, here,” Kageyama had murmured as he thrust the ticket into his hands, the ticket having appeared so fast Hinata didn’t even notice that Kageyama had it in his hands when his eyes tracked over it. When his brain began to register the few words that were printed on the paper, his brain working out the very few kanji he actually knew and could read, he could feel his mind exploding as he tried to keep himself from going nova when he yelped, as professionally as he could._

_“Is that a Scheweiden Adlers volleyball match ticket?”_

_Kageyama blushed as he held the ticket awkwardly in front of him with his two hands, Hinata’s eyes shining too much for his comfort as he stammered, “I get free tickets all the time and since you mentioned liking volleyball last time, I thought it would be nuff…. ni… knife… nice… if you would watch it.”_

_As much as Hinata’s fingers itched to take it in his hand and frame the ticket to put on the wall, his inner counsellor was beginning to tell him that he shouldn’t accept the ticket because of the boundaries a counsellor had to abide to. One of them was accepting gifts from clients and this would sit somewhere on the not-supposed-to-accept list of things. Hinata was so torn between accepting it and telling Kageyama gently that he couldn’t take it, his mind at war on the ethical codes of accepting it when Kageyama mumbled._

_“I’m planning to confront them during the match. If you’re around, even if you’re somewhere in the crowd, I feel I might have a bit more of a chance in making things right.”_

_Even though Kageyama didn’t mention the name of the person out loud, Hinata could somehow fit the pieces together about who it might be as his warring mind finally came to a standstill on the battlefield._

_Slowly, he reached out to take the ticket from Kageyama, bobbing his head as he carefully stashed the ticket in his pocket as Kageyama let out a breath he had been holding in for a pretty long time. His face was slightly pale from having waited for Hinata’s response but the moment he took the ticket, colour began to return to his face as the beginnings of a smile twitched the corners of his lips as Hinata tried not to mention he looked a bit like a demon trying to kill someone when he smiled before returning back to the session._

Hinata nodded as he carefully put the ticket back into his pocket, Suga and Yamaguchi’s eyes on him as he opened his lunch, clapping his hands in front of him as he grinned.  
  
“I think I will be alright. Itadakimasu!”

…

The roar of the crowd was sending chills down Kageyama’s spine. He knew he needed to get it over and done with quick before the game began but he didn’t know if he had the time or could even find and convince them to listen to him.

The game was held in the stadium Kageyama had come to call his second home. The bleachers were filled to the brim with people, bright lights shining above their heads as staff ran around, making last minute changes to anything for the game. The large tall board erected on the wall read Schweiden Adlers vs. Black Jackals, a team that Kageyama had been revving to meet after having come across some of them during his high school days.

As Kageyama walked out with his team, a wave of cheers and squeals erupted as fans tried to clamor towards him to get an autograph. Some girls even wore shirts with his face on it, something that Kageyama hated since most of his faces made him look like he was suffering from constipation when it was taken. Most of his teammates took to the crowd with stride, smiling and waving as their fans crowded around them.

“Kageyama-san, please sign my shirt!” a boy squeaked as he tugged his friend forward, both of them shaking with awe as Kageyama bent down to sign the shirt. The boy had began to ramble about how much he wanted to be a setter one day and that he watched every game he ever played live, although Kageyama barely so much as nodded as he tried to keep his eyes out for a certain someone.

He had about an hour or so to sort things out before the game began.

Signing seemed to be longer and worst than Kageyama thought. As he slowly signed everything that was handed his way by his fans, he couldn’t help but take side glances at his fellow players, most of them doing fancy poses at the cameras of squealing fangirls while he and Ushijima remained stoic even when asked to take pictures. Ushijima was much better at this than he was though; although the most he seemed to be able to do was the peace sign while Kageyama could only ever conjure a not too fierce face when taking pictures. He still had memories of his early days where kids had run away crying because he had looked too scary and his captain had jokingly told him it would pass eventually.

Once the signing was over, the team trooped back to the locker rooms, most of them laughing and chatting amongst themselves on how many fans they had got or how they planned to play during the game. Ushijima walked silently beside Kageyama, who was starting to sweat as he tried to think of what to say to the team as his palms got too sweaty to dig his nails into. Kageyama thought he might just about have a nervous breakdown, his mind blurring as he fumbled for the words when the door clicked behind him, signaling they had entered the locker room.

The locker room smelled of filthy gym socks and sweaty men but Kageyama had grown used to it. Each locker had a name printed on it, some of them having been decorated with pictures of loved ones of players or some with fanmail decorating the surfaces. Kageyama had kept his empty while Ushijima had photos of his Shiratorizawa friends pasted on the inside of his locker along with his old Shiratorizawa jacket hanging inside.

Kageyama grasped his shirt, his heart beating so hard he was finding it hard to breath when he heard Ushijima close his locker beside him, the chatter in the air rising by the minute until Ushijima spoke. Even though he wasn’t the captain of the team, he had been one of the few to play for Japan in the previous Olympics, garnering him respect amongst the rest of the team for his skills and experience.

“Kageyama has something to say,” he said, Kageyama freezing in his spot as his hand remained on the locker door. He was surprised his hand didn’t slip from all the sweat accumulating on it as Kaoru, the middle blocker of the team.

“What do you want to talk about now, Kageyama?” he snarled as Kageyama felt himself wilt, his insides turning to mush as he felt all eyes on him.

He knew his remarks would come back to bite him one day and he was feeling the brunt of it now. He could feel the hatred seeping into the air of the locker room, stifling it further as Kageyama tried to open his mouth.

“Kaoru, let Kageyama speak,” their captain spoke, Kaoru shutting his mouth as the older man turned to face his team. Other than Ushijima, Akatsuki Rei was the only player to have played for Japan before. While he had been one of the few who managed to tolerate Kageyama’s remarks and inability to cooperate on the team, Kageyama felt he wasn’t in the mood for defending him right about now.

Kageyama had to do it. This was the only chance he could repair things with his team as it stands.

Fear clawed its way through his mind as Kageyama tried not to think of how he might make things even worst. His team hated him, he knew it. He didn’t have to be a genius to know the truth.

That’s why he will do what he does best; say exactly what is on his mind.

Some breaths were drawn as Kageyama bent his body in a ninety degree bow, his head nearly banging onto the bench lining the centre of the locker room as he shouted the same words he had been practicing in his mind so many times to get them right.

“Forgive me for my actions! I have been rude and disrespectful towards you all! I didn’t pay attention to what you needed and instead threw my thoughts onto you and tried to force you to play the way I wanted. I even hurt some of you by saying you’re weak and shouldn’t be on the team. I know all of you hate me, and I don’t know how I can ever seek forgiveness with you all, but for the moment, please…” Kageyama whispered as he knelt on the bench, folding his legs under him as he went into a groveling position, the most humiliating position someone could ever do to anyone else as he whispered, “forgive me.”

No one dared to say anything as Kageyama’s head remained bowed, not wanting to see what his teammates’ expressions were. Kageyama’s head was spinning from the adrenaline and blood rushing to it, his body coated with sweat as though he had run several miles as his heartbeat filled his ears.

“When this match is over, I will hand in my letter of resignation. If my presence is going to throw off the balance of the team, I will gladly leave it to ensure the team’s success in future games.”

He had done it. He had spoken his thoughts.

Now it was a matter if he would be forgiven.

A shadow hovered over him as a hand reached to pat him on the shoulder before moving to his arm, moving to bring up his body as Rei whispered, his voice shaking as he said, “Lift your head, Kageyama.”

Kageyama bit back a sob as he lifted his head to see his captain standing before him, biting his lip as he tried to hold back the tears. All around him, some of his teammates were looking uncomfortably on the ground while some of them looked like they might burst into tears. Ushijima stood behind Kageyama, his arms crossed as he gave him a reassuring nod, Kageyama hoping that he hadn’t just destroyed the team’s entire morale when Kaoru spoke up.

“You can be a dick sometimes, Kageyama. But I guess you’re alright after all,” he said as he came over, helping Rei to lift Kageyama out of his groveling position to sit up straight. All around him, his teammates gathered in a circle, smiles spreading across their faces as Rei said.

“As long as you realized your mistakes, we will stand by your side on the court. I do know you have difficulties trying to work with others because of your past, but recently, I’ve felt that you are trying to make things work with the others. As your captain, I will not be accepting your resignation from this team,” Rei grinned as Murase, one of the wing spikers stepped forward.

“Your setting is amazing and I don’t want to have to be paired with Atsushi over there, even though he’s a great guy. His aim can be pretty terrible at times once he sees a hot girl in the crowd,” he grinned as Atsushi, one of the spare setters blanched as another guy laughed.

“Not many people know how to deal with crazy balls that fly all over the place. You saved our asses so many times on the court ever since you came onto the team.”

“Maybe if you try to make your face scarier so the other team would get intimidated, it might actually be a good thing having such a terrifying face.”

Boisterous laughter filled the room as the atmosphere slowly began lighter. Kageyama could feel a weight lift off his shoulders as tears came from his eyes, his throat making a choking noise as Ushijima held him by the arm and brought him to his feet, an proud smile on his face as Kageyama wiped his eyes.

He cried way too much lately. He was going to blame it on Hinata.

Kaoru clapped a hand onto Kageyama’s back, Kageyama nearly slamming into the bench as the wing spiker looked at him dead in the eye, the uncomfortable expression on his face now one of relief and a bit of happiness. Kageyama recalled the number of times Kaoru had to put up with his kinglike setting, somehow managing to hit most of them as erratic and unreasonable as they were. How in the world did he come to forgive someone like him?

“Although you were a bit of a dick and not all of us will forgive you at once, at least we’re on the road to actually becoming a team right? Funny since we have been a team for nearly two years now and I don’t even call you by your first name.”

Kaoru gave Kageyama a wink before stepping back, Rei clapping his hands as the team crowded around their captain.

“Alright team! Now that its time to play against those jackals, let’s have a group huddle!” Rei roared as the team got into a circle, surrounding Kageyama as all of them grinned at him. This was the first time ever since he entered the team that he felt like he was actually going onto the court with others, the feeling of unity buzzing through the air as he felt the others accepting him. The last time he had felt that… he couldn’t remember the last time he felt accepted by the team as a whole.

“Alright boys! Let’s do it!” Rei roared as everyone shouted, “Schweiden Adlers, fly high!”

There was a chorus of shouts and cheers as they walked to the door, shouting as one as they walked onto the court, somehow managing to get into line along the way as Kageyama wiped his eyes, wiping away the last of his tears as light flooded his vision. The gym was packed to the brim with people, the announcer speaking each of their names in turn as they walked out on the court. Each player smiled and waved at the crowd, Ushijima remaining as stoic as ever while Kageyama tried his best to give a smile that didn’t look like he was going to murder someone when he heard someone screaming his name from the crowd.

His eyes fell on the single ball of sunshine in the crowd, his orange hair like a beacon of light as he waved at him, holding up a Schweiden Adler shirt with his number on it.

“Hinata, don’t act like a fanboy or something, baka,” he muttered under his breath as Hinata roared, switching his shirt for a Black Jackal one as soon as the Black Jackals began to file out onto the other side of the court.

Kageyama knew that they were a formidable team, having trained with Atsumu Miya during his first year in the Youth All-Japan training camp. The setter grinned as he spotted Kageyama, blowing him a raspberry as Kiyomi Sakusa, one of his teammates and a wing spiker who ranked in the top three alongside Ushijima in their high school days murmured something about germs spreading through the air before shooting a glare at them.

“Alright! This is going to be awesome! Hey hey hey!” Bokuto, former ace and captain of Fukurodani Academy yelled as he did cartwheels on the court, somehow managing to form his name as the crowd went wild with cheers and laughs. Even Hinata was standing up screaming his name as Kageyama tried not to frown at the fact the counsellor was supporting both teams at the same time.

As both teams stood to face each other on the court, Kageyama could almost feel himself being connected to each one of the players on his side of the court. As they got into position, he could feel them becoming one, their minds connected together as their bodies carried out each attack with precision, Kageyama’s mind moving to follow their train of thought as he sent them the ball.

_All these players on your side of the court are your allies!_

Kageyama felt he might have heard this from a certain bald spiker from his high school days, the guy having had yelled at a player who was messing up the game by stealing just about every ball on the court. Somehow, Kageyama caught a glimpse of orange in that memory, the boy so short he could have been mistaken as a elementary schooler when someone’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Kageyama! Fightttt!!!” Hinata yelled as he waved both team shirts in the air, the smile on his face bright enough to split the world as Kageyama grinned.

If Hinata couldn’t make up his mind on who he was supporting, he was going to show just who was the better player on the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put a different name for Kageyama's captain even though his name has already been mentioned in the manga. The team Kageyama is on is actually his current team in the manga as well as for the Black Jackals. I dont want to spoil too much content so just going to leave it here for now.
> 
> Until the next update!


	8. The setter and his ace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! Thanks so much for the reviews! I really enjoy reading review no matter how long they were and I'm glad people take the time to read and analyse the story so much!!! Brings joy to my crazy writer heart!
> 
> I know I might sound a bit dumb in being a writer who only wants to get reviews and kudos but the really motivate me in writing and I also love to interact with people and talk about their thoughts and feelings on the matter.
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Suga couldn’t help but smile as Hinata waved his hands animatedly through the air, remnants of his lunch still stuffed in his mouth as he excitedly tried to convey the details of last week’s match between the Schweiden Adlers and the Black Jackals. While Suga had to admit he was a bit jealous of missing out on the fun because of work and the severe lack of tickets, he did manage to find a bit of peace upon receiving a signed shirt of Ushijima’s number from Hinata.

“Kageyama was like fwoom! And he went swoom when he set the ball. You could hear the soft tatamm sound when he set it into the air, so light but when I heard it, I could almost remember you setting for me back in Karasuno,” Hinata sighed as Yamaguchi mumbled over a mouthful of yakisoba mournfully, “Don’t remind me that I was the only first year who never made the starting line up that year.”

Suga laughed as he recalled their high school days of being in the gym, working their asses off under the leadership of Daichi, now a police man in Miyagi protecting the peace. While around half of them had moved to Tokyo to get better jobs, some of them had stayed behind in the hometown, which made things fun when they got together in each prefecture and hang out in each other’s home, drinking into the night and reminiscing the old days. Suga had quickly learned how to do all the adult things rather quickly, especially in learning how to hold his liquor and making those who couldn’t do so suffer his wrath.

He made a note to organize another get to gather party. He was missing his best friends too much for comfort now that Hinata had brought up their high school days.

“I know we’re not supposed to ask, since its confidentiality and all, but do spill the beans on Kageyama’s progress. I am very curious to know just what he did that the game ended like that,” Suga purred as Yamaguchi groaned in defeat.

The Schweiden Adlers had wiped the floor with the Black Jackals, with Kageyama’s sets getting more godlike than ever. This time, his teammates were able to spike most of his balls, which was a first since he had been having trouble trying to get them to hit. Kageyama had been known by a certain nickname on the court in tribute for his bad habit of never setting the ball according to how players preferred, choosing to prioritise what he thought was best.

The King of the Court.

Apparently it had been given to him back in his junior high years and had even managed to remain until now as people whispered about him being too incorporable to be on any professional team, which was why people were surprised he made it that far.

But now, Hinata seemed to be bringing Kageyama out of that dark phase of his life, bringing about the best of the other boy’s abilities in the sport. Suga wondered how it would have been liked if Kageyama had been the setter on Karasuno’s team, setting for Hinata as he leaped through the air. Suga hated admitting he wasn’t the best setter there could have been and Hinata deserved someone who could bring out the best of his jumping abilities, but at least now, Hinata could help someone realize the dream he didn’t achieve.

_“Well, guess that will be a story in another lifetime,”_ Suga smiled to himself as Hinata rambled on how Kageyama was getting along with everyone else. With around less than a month until the selection of players for the 2020 Olympics, Kageyama might want to up his game right about now.

And he had Hinata to help him.

“Daichi, Asahi, I wish you can see how our children are growing now,” Suga thought as he watched the smile on Hinata’s face grow bigger the more he talked about Kageyama.

As the mother of the murder of crows, he couldn’t be more proud of Hinata.

…

Kageyama wringed his fingers as he sat in the waiting room, his face covered with a mask and wearing his Hollywood baseball cap in an attempt to hide his face. Unfortunately, it only seemed to make people stare at him even more, making him want to remove the mask from his face and expose his identity to the entire hospital.

Luckily for him, he wasn’t here because he needed a check up himself.

More like he needed to check up on two people from his past.

The last time he had seen the pair had been during the match Oikawa had injured his knee, tears of pain streaming from his eyes as Iwaizumi yelled at him for being an idiot, holding onto his friend even as they took him away in an ambulance. Kageyama could still remember the scene vividly; their teammates standing on the side, horror on their faces as their setter was taken away from them. Two of the players, one with pink hair and another with unruly black hair Kageyama didn’t know had done everything in their power to bring Iwaizumi back to the game but it was too late.

The moment Oikawa left the team, Aoba Johsai crumbled without their main pillar to hold them up. Kageyama could only watch as his former senior walked away, trying to hold back his tears and anger as they walked off the court, signaling the end of their journey in Interhigh. Even though Kageyama hadn’t so much interacted with Iwaizumi much back in middle school, at that moment he felt the pain of losing someone essential to winning on the court.

When he entered Shiratorizawa, he had heard Ushijima mentioning that Oikawa would have made a great setter on the team if it weren’t for his pride getting in the way. Kageyama had secretly been happy that hadn’t happened; he wouldn’t have had the chance to set to Ushijima on the court and the man seemed to have a sort of obsession with Oikawa, always pissing him off while he could when meeting off the court.

There was so many ‘what ifs’ of what could have happened if Oikawa had chosen a different path and what may happen that day. Oikawa may still be playing volleyball if he went to Shiratorizawa or even become a professional player.

However, history isn’t something for a human to decide.

“Its been a while, Kageyama,” a voice called as Kageyama lifted his head, his eyes drawn to the direction of the voice as Iwaizumi appeared in front of him, a coat draw over a white long sleeved shirt and black trousers. A brown tie was hanging loosely around his neck, exposing his neck that had a necklace hung around it.

Iwaizumi hadn’t changed much in appearance; he still retained the unruly spiky hair from his teenage days, albeit having a bit more stubble under his chin and the hints of a moustache. Despite being a doctor, Kageyama spotted a packet of cigarettes hapzardly shoved into the breast pocket of his coat, Iwaizumi’s eyes raking over him as Kageyama stood up and bowed to him.

“Its been a while, Iwaizumi-san. Thank you for agreeing to meet me today.”

“No, thanks for making your way here. It was the only way I could convince that idiot to actually agree to this meeting,” Iwaizumi sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked tired from the lack of sleep and Kageyama made a mental note to get him some coffee as a thank you gift later when Iwaizumi beckoned him to the lift, pressing the button leading to the roof as he sighed, leaning against the wall of the lift once the doors closed behind them.

Iwaizumi worked in the same hospital as a doctor as Oikawa, who was part of the physical therapy team. While Oikawa had been known to be one of the best in treating volleyball players around the country, for some reason he had managed to steer away from being involved in any of the teams Kageyama and Ushijima was part of. Whenever the atheletes had to do physical checks, it was often a man by the name of Ennoshita Chikara who does it. Kageyama didn’t really know much details on how physiotherapists were contracted but as far as he knew, Oikawa had stayed pretty clear off the radar.

It was only after typing their names online that Kageyama had managed to get a hold of their numbers, although he ended up emailing Iwaizumi. He felt he needed to play it safe by talking to the more calm of the two, as he thought of Iwaizumi. He felt Iwaizumi might have a bit of a grudge on him too after what happened to Oikawa, being his best friend and all and thought it might be easier to clear things with him before moving on to Oikawa.

There was a dinging sound as the doors opened, Iwaizumi walking out of the lift as he fumbled for his cigarettes. As they walked up a flight of stairs leading to the roof, he slipped a cigarette into his mouth, his hand quickly moving to light it as soon as they hit the fresh air, the wind hitting Kageyama’s face as he finally removed the mask from his face.

The roof was accessible to both staff and patients, although no one loitered around at the moment. There were a few benches scattered about as well as the random potted plant, their leaves swaying in the breeze as the two walked towards the edge of the roof.

“Want a smoke? Well, I’m guessing atheletes wouldn’t do smoking,” Iwaizumi huffed as he pulled in a whiff of smoke before exhaling it. He sighed with relief as he felt the cigarette working its way through his brain, sending small waves of energy through him as he brought the cigarette to his lips once more before looking at his former junior.

“Well then, what is it you want to come and find us after so many years?”

Kageyama fiddled with his mask as he opened his mouth to speak, finally able to find the words as he spoke slowly, careful not to say the wrong thing.

“Did you hate me for what happened to Oikawa?”

Iwaizumi didn’t flinch at the question, instead taking a drag from his cigarette before letting out a puff of smoke from his lips. When he looked at him, Kageyama realized just how tired he was and that he might be actually be bothering him much more than he should as Iwaizumi sighed.

“What happened was his fault. He overworked himself and that was what he got. Although he did get jealous of you at one point and worked much harder to beat you to it,” Iwaizumi said as he exhaled smoke, “it was all his own doing in how he got injured.”

Kageyama recalled the day he nearly got hit in the face by Oikawa. It had been late in the day when everyone had gone home, Oikawa still practicing his serves as Kageyama walked up to him, eyes eager as he asked him to teach him a jump float serve. He had admired Oikawa ever since he got onto the team and wanted to be more like him.

Little did he know that his senior was jealous of him, a boy two years younger who didn’t have as much talent as he did.

Iwaizumi may be the only reason why things didn’t get worse than they had been then and now.

“I was hurt that my best friend can no longer played. I did blame you for a time being the reason why Oikawa got injured but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that you were just a victim in this. I felt that we were actually the reason why your bad playing spiraled out of control in the first place; if we had shown you how to play better, worked with you instead of avoiding you, you might not have felt like you were rejected by the team and instead try to work out everything on your own.”

Iwaizumi finished his cigarette as he pressed it against the metal railing, light sparks flashing off the metal as he looked at Kageyama in his eyes, his expression sad and guilty from what had happened as he walked forward to give Kageyama a pat on the shoulder.

“I don’t know if this gives you a bit of reassurance, but after getting if out of me, I hope it brings some peace to you about your past, Kageyama,” he said as the door opened, a familiar voice filling the air as Oikawa stepped onto the roof.

“Come on, Chikara-chan! You’re so boring not going for any drinks with us! I bet you are one of those horrible drinkers who can’t hold their liquor!” Oikawa pouted as Kageyama froze in his place. He could feel his blood running cold as his palms began to sweat, his brain willing him not to move as his senior walked towards him.

“I don’t want to waste my money on alcohol, Oikawa. I don’t see the point of getting drunk and wasted when you can use the money to pay your rent,” a man sighed, Kageyama recognizing the voice as that of Ennoshita Chikara. The man was a calm and collected individual who could calm the rowdiest of people and he was doing a good job in making sure Oikawa didn’t force him to do anything stupid like wasting money on drinking.

Kageyama couldn’t afford to drink a lot anyways considering he had to make sure he was in prime condition.

“Eh?! You’re no fun,” Oikawa groaned as he cried out in surprise when he spotted his best friend standing in front of him.

“Took you long enough, Shittykawa. I’m almost off my break,” Iwaizumi grunted as Oikawa groaned, “I had a really fussy patient just now! She just wouldn’t leave me be! Maybe I was a bit too hard on her when I was doing the massage on her lower back…”

“Shut it with the details,” Iwaizumi groaned when Oikawa asked, “So, whats with the romantic meeting on the roof set up? Finally going to propose to me the way you should have all this time? Mean Iwa-chan for keeping your princess waiting.”

“Someone is here to see you,” Iwaizumi said as Kageyama slowly turned to face them, the smile on Oikawa’s face quickly dropping to be replaced with a venomous look as he hissed, “Well well, its been a while, Tobio-chan.”

Oikawa hadn’t changed much either, wearing the white uniform of a physiotherapist with a watch pinned on his right breast pocket. He looked way more handsome than before, his muscles still in good shape as they bulged under his clothes. Kageyama wondered why he didn’t choose the route of an actor or model considering he looked like one right now as he hastily tried to form his thoughts when Iwaizumi steered Ennoshita away from the two towards the exit.

“Did I interrupt something?” Ennoshita asked as Iwaizumi muttered about explaining it to him later, the door clicking shut behind them to leave Kageyama and Oikawa standing, alone.

“I thought it was odd Iwa-chan wanted to meet up on the roof at this hour since the sun is too bright for him. I never suspected the reason would be meeting you,” Oikawa grunted as he eyed Kageyama, who was starting to wish he didn’t have to meet his senior.

“Go on. What do you want? I don’t have all day,” Oikawa grunted as Kageyama bit his lip before saying, “Oikawa-san, do you hate me?”

Kageyama felt the tension rising before Oikawa let out a bark of laughter, holding on his sides as he snorted.

“Really? You’re asking me that now? After all this time, you suddenly come and ask me if I hate you? Well, if you want me to be very honest, then yes, I hated you.”

Kageyama took note of how he used the past tense in this case as Oikawa continued.

“When I got injured, I thought that it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t decided to appear in my life and show what a prodigy you are on the court. I already had to deal with that blasted Ushiwaka beating us so many times on the court and I didn’t want to deal with the idea that another player, my own junior, could be a better setter than me. I didn’t want to be weaker than Ushiwaka, I wanted to beat him and go to nationals with Iwa-chan and the rest of the team. So I trained and trained, even as my knee screamed out to me. I didn’t care if it hurt, only as long as we can get to nationals.

Of course, it had to happen. Life can be so cruel to those who have to work hard to get to where they are, right?”

Kageyama shuffled uncomfortably in his spot as Oikawa sobbed, the tears springing from his eyes to fall onto him as he glared at him, “I had to get injured! I worked so hard to be where I was only to get kicked off because of a stupid injury. I hated myself for ending my career in such a pathetic manner, I wanted to die so badly.”

So many times he had thought of the other option, of just leaving the world if he couldn’t play volleyball. As the thought continued to haunt him for months on end, the only person to bring him back was Iwaizumi, his best friend and the only person who stood by his side through the entire ordeal from having to deal with the painful truth of never playing volleyball again.

_“If you cannot play, at least help those who are playing, Stupidkawa! With your knowledge of the sport and the will to make your team win, you can at least make a difference by making sure no one ends up like you!” Iwaizumi had yelled as he pushed Oikawa’s back against the wall of the gym, trying his best not to beat some sense into his best friend._

_He was so tired of watching him get hurt. He didn’t want him to suffer anymore._

_Oikawa had looked at him with eyes so sad he felt his heart get crushed as he pulled him forward, enveloping him in his arms as Oikawa sobbed into his shoulder as he cried out in agony and sadness. Both of them stood there on their own, Oikawa crying for being removed from the court and Iwaizumi got losing his partner on the court._

_Two people missing their other halves._

_One of them losing their dream._

_It would have been impossible for them to live without each other._

_Which was why they made a vow to remain by each other’s side as long as they could, to fill the hole in each other’s heart._

“Iwa-chan got me into the idea of becoming a doctor and let’s just say, the only reason I am not dead is because I’m too busy trying to study and finish to make sure stupid atheletes like myself don’t go injuring themselves unnecessarily. Even though you might have been one of the reasons this shit happened, I had to owe it to you on how I turned out to be today. That doesn’t mean I like you any more than I did last time.”

Oikawa wiped his eyes as he curled his fist, Kageyama closing his eyes as he felt the air moving beside him when he felt something land on his chest. As he opened his eyes, he saw Oikawa had punched him in the chest, his fist resting over his heart as his former senior growled.

“You better win on the court when I couldn’t, Tobio-chan. I would have definitely been better at entertaining my fans and looking good in commercials. I see you still suck at facial expressions even when it comes to eating something nice,” Oikawa said as he stuck his tongue out at him before turning to walk away when he heard Kageyama yelling.

“Oikawa-san, thank you for giving me closure on this! I promise to play the best I can for you on the court until the very end!” he yelled as he bowed low, his body bent in a 90 degree angle as a small smile played on Oikawa’s lips. Kageyama remained where he was until the door shut behind Oikawa.

Kageyama continued standing on the roof, the light breeze ruffling through his hair and clothes as he felt yet another piece of his heart stitch itself together. As he turned his gaze to the city of Tokyo lying before him, he could only hope that at the end of the day, he would be able to face his biggest fear.

Smiling, Kageyama slowly pulled the mask over his face before tipping his cap lower, moving to the lift that will take him back to the bustling streets of Tokyo.

…

“I still can’t believe you set us up to meet him, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa pouted from his chair as he spun around in it, Iwaizumi trying his best not to grab him by the ear and stop him from acting like a child in his own office. Since he didn’t have patients for the next half hour, he had decided to swing over to Oikawa’s office instead. His heart clenched at the sight of various volleyball memorabilia scattered across the room; he had his Aoba Johsai jacket, too old and thin to be worn anymore hanging in the glass cabinet with various picture of him and Iwaizumi along with Matsukawa and Makki both inside and outside of school.

“You can be such an asshole, Shittykawa. Why did you say you hated him?”

“I do hate him!” Oikawa grunted as he sat back down in the chair, grunting as he felt his bad knee twitch a little as Iwaizumi sighed, “You could have just said you were jealous of him.”

“I don’t think Tobio-chan’s brain has the capacity to think more anyways. Besides, I think that should be enough closure for him,” Oikawa said as Iwaizumi came over to flick his fingers against his forehead.

“So you still regret not asking for his autograph after all of this?”

“Mean, Iwa-chan! Stop reminding me I forgot to ask something from my precious kohai!”

After speaking to Kageyama, Oikawa had felt a weird sense of peace passing over him, filling the gap in his heart that had been left by the overwhelming feeling of defeat in the presence of his kohai. It was as though Oikawa had finally come to terms with his past and can move forward knowing that even though he couldn’t play on the court, at least someone else was there to carry on the game.

Oikawa smiled as he twirled his pen between his fingers, his fingers scrolling the mouse as he searched through the official volleyball website, the date of the Olympic team selection blazing in red on top as he grinned.

“You better get on the team, Tobio-chan. Otherwise, I might have to go kick Ushiawaka’s ass myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smoking Iwa-chan is super hot, isn't he? Sigh....


	9. Like father, like son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will be the final person Kageyama will meet to kinda fully conquer all of his fears. Just to say, while I was thinking of including Kindaichi and Kunimi as the final two whom Kageyama will meet and set things rights, I found it a bit hard to incorporate considering he wouldn't have any form of contact with them and after seeing in the anime and manga where Kindaichi told him to not apologise for the past, I don't think it would be great to include them in this since thinking about it, it might actually make all parties more upset at the matter (unless Iwaizumi and Oikawa try to help patch things up as well with them but let's see how that goes.)
> 
> So thats my reasoning for not including the two of them in this but otherwise, I hope you enjoy this chapter! We don't know a lot of the Kageyama household so this is my interpretation of how it might be like and I really didnt expect this to be the longest chapter I wrote for this story.
> 
> One more note : I'm just going to put in here that Kageyama knows Ukai since he always goes and buy meat buns as a kid (just to make things a bit more nice here)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Kageyama squirmed in his seat as he tried not to think about how he was supposed to go back to the house he swore to never return to. He thought he might be able to escape this since his old man always happened to be on business trips and his mother said it would be better for him to stay in Tokyo but somehow, all three of them would be in the house for this weekend.

The team had been a week off practice after their victory against the Black Jackals and most of the team had taken off to their hometowns to relax. Kageyama initially intended to stay in Tokyo over the break but after a bit of persuasion from Ushijima and Hinata, he found himself riding in Ushijima’s car as they drove from the highway into their home prefecture of Miyagi.

Kageyama had grown used to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo and while Miyagi wasn’t as small as most people made it out to be, he could still feel the difference in the atmosphere of the area. Not as many cars were present on the roads and the air was definitely much cleaner than that in Tokyo, Kageyama wanting to roll down the window to take in a bit of fresh air as they headed towards his house.

Ushijima’s home was located in the countryside a ways from where Kageyama was, who happened to live near Karasuno. At one point, he had considered applying to the school if he hadn’t got a recommendation to go to Shiratorizawa, which he managed to get by some miracle after all the mishaps that happened in his final year in juinior high. When he heard the rumours of the man who brought the fallen crows to the national stage, he thought it wouldn’t be too bad to go to a fallen powerhouse and had the chance to train with the demon coach, although he was glad he didn’t in the end as the old man passed away from a heart attack in the early part of his first year.

Kageyama looked up from his daze as they passed through more familiar sights. He saw the small shop he had first seen the little Giant play as a child, the player flashing on every screen in the shop as he flew through the air. The shop still stood tall and strong, a man busy cleaning the front with a broom as he hummed something under his breath. Kageyama’s eyes fell on the small convenience store he loved to get meatbuns from at one point, although he stopped doing that when he enrolled into the dorms of Shiratorizawa.

“Ushijima-san, is it ok if we stop here for a bit?” Kageyama asked as the older man nodded, pulling up along the side as Kageyama gave him a nod before running into the store. As the doors slid open, Kageyama’s nose picked up the scent of meatbuns filling the air before it mixed in with the scent of cigarettes wafting through the air.

“Welcome, what can I get… eh?! Aren’t you Kageyama Tobio from the Schweiden Alders?!” the blonde man at the counter blurted as the cigarette fell from his lips. He still sported the same bad dye job that was his hair, held back with a hairband that barely kept it from staying together. He wore a long sleeve jumper with the shop name printed on a pink apron drawn over his clothes and in his hands was a Volleyball Weekly magazine, which happened to be opened at the page featuring the Schweiden Adlers.

“Ukai-san, its been a while,” Kageyama said as the man nearly lost his eyeballs in the process.

“Eh? Were you the kid that used to buy my entire stock of meatbuns back in junior high? Man, I didn’t know you actually became a volleyball player of such caliber now!” he grinned as Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck as Ukai busied himself with packing up some meatbuns.

“Sheesh! I never thought I would see a star player in my shop! I thought I might have seen you play sometime several years back against Karasuno but I can’t remember… arghh, is it because of the hair?” Ukai murmured as he packed an entire bag of meatbuns for Kageyama, who smiled internally at the gesture. That was exactly how he used to buy them last time; he was often too lazy to keep walking to and fro from the shop so he opted to buy at least ten at a time.

“The only idiot to actually buy as many meatbuns as you was one of my players back in the day. Man, I wondered where he is now, that Hinata… last I heard, he went to Tokyo to do counselling or something along the lines,” Ukai muttered as Kageyama’s eyes widened upon hearing the counsellor’s name.

“Wait, you know Hinata Shouyou?” he blurted as Ukai raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, he was a wing spiker back in his days as a student in Karasuno. He was a feisty little one, always shouting that he could jump higher and running like a madman on the court. I often felt bad I couldn’t utilize that speed of his but oh well, things don’t normally work out the way we want them to 100%. How do you know the little bugger anyways?” Ukai asked as Kageyama gulped, not knowing if he should reveal his relationship with Hinata as counsellor and client.

“Uh, I met him at a signing event for the team. He isn’t that easy to forget,” Kageyama grunted, thinking how impossible it was to actually forget Hinata’s flaming hair and contagious smile. Even though he was in a different prefecture from him right now, Kageyama could almost imagine Hinata standing next to him, challenging him to see who could eat the most meatbuns when Ukai grinned.

“Well, I’m glad that guy is doing well. I heard he’s with some of the others as well so he’s in good hands. This will be 1000 yen please,” Ukai grinned as Kageyama handed the money over to Ukai, who didn’t miss the chance to ask for his autograph as well before he finally returned to the car to see Ushijima waiting with the window down, reading a JUMP magazine.

“Ushijima-san, here is a meatbun,” Kageyama murmured as he closed the door before handing a meatbun to Ushijima. He nodded as he bit into it, Ushijima’s eyes sparkling as he savoured the taste of the food with Kageyama biting into his own. Kageyama could almost imagine himself back in his younger days, munching on meatbuns on the way home from volleyball, a smile on his face as Ushijima finally cranked up the engine.

“You’re ready?” he asked as Kageyama nodded, his mind working better now that he had eaten as they continued down the road towards the suburbs where Kageyama lived.

The house was the same as always, a huge hulking white bungalow with high windows made of glass. Kageyama hated the idea of being exposed like that; those windows didn’t give a shred of privacy whenever he was in the living room, making him coop up in his room most of the time to get some peace. Two cars were pulled up in the driveway, both belonging to each of his parents as Kageyama gulped.

When was the last time he actually been in the same vicinity as his parents?

“I hope to hear good news from you,” Ushijima said as Kageyama nodded, moving to grab his things from the boot before Ushijima drove off down the road. Kageyama’s fingers gripped onto the straps of the duffle bag he had brought with him, taking a deep breath before he rang the doorbell to the house, the door flying open to reveal his mother standing at the threshold.

“Tobio, welcome home,” she smiled as Kageyama removed his shoes and put them at the entryway before turning to look at his mother, “I’m home.”

Kageyama had to admit he might have taken more of his looks from his mother. Both of them shared the same dark blue eyes and black hair, although his temper and horrible smile probably came from his father. He didn’t recall any time his father had actually smiled for anything, even in pictures that they took while on vacation. Kageyama’s mother was all smiles; her smile made the whole room lit up and Kageyama wondered if that was the main reason why his father had even managed to fall in love with her.

“Come on in, Tobio. You must be tired. Your father is in the living room waiting for you,” she said as she helped take his bags in her arms. Kageyama nodded as he stepped into the house, his legs shaking at the thought of having to meet his father as he walked inside.

The living room was a large modern space with a long white couch running along the side, a black coffee table set between it and the large TV embedded in the wall. The curtains had been drawn to reveal the garden that ran along the side, a pond built into it with large, colorful koi swimming in its waters. Their neighbour’s house was also visible from that point and Kageyama could roughly make out someone doing cleaning in one of the upstairs rooms when a newspaper rustled in the air.

“Tobio,” a voice boomed as Kageyama gulped, turning to look at his father. The man bore the same scowl that invaded Kageyama’s face every day, his eyes seeming to drill their way into Kageyama’s soul as the setter tried not to gulp. He didn’t know how he was going to follow through with his plan and get his old man to see reason, although he had to get it done by the end of the day.

Silence fell over them as Kageyama’s father continued to read his newspaper, not caring to talk to his son as he shuffled his feet. Kageyama had no idea on what to say after that, his mind going blank even as he tried to desperately think of how he was going to talk to his father about the problem. After the silence got too much for him, Kageyama excused himself and went to his room, locking the door behind him.

“What the hell am I doing?” Kageyama groaned as he collapsed on his bed, his body turning limp as he lay in the sheets. He had no idea what to do now to talk to the biggest hurdle in his hierarchy. He felt that even though his father may have been the one who could have made him so desperate to be the best on the court, it may also be his own fault for not sitting down and talking to him properly.

Before he knew it, the days had passed and Kageyama felt the chances of him talking to his father were now increasingly slipping past him. While he had the chance to talk to him during dinner or even when he was reading the morning paper in the living room, Kageyama couldn’t bring himself to bring up the subject of volleyball since he didn’t want his father to blow his head off and cause his mother distress. She already had to deal with their bickerings for the past 24 years and he didn’t want to upset her any further.

On the final day of his stay, Kageyama got a call from Ushijima, asking him if he wanted to go for practice at Shiratorizawa Academy. With Coach Washio retiring soon and Shirabu going to take over as the assistant coach, they thought it would be a good idea to rally up the troops for their next game with the presence of two potential Olympic atheletes. While Kageyama felt he might have to try and finish things with his father that night, he couldn’t say no to a game of volleyball in his old school.

“I’m going for a practice match in Shiratorizawa so I will be back late for dinner,” Kageyama told his mother as he pulled on his jacket, the Shiratorizawa jacket now well worn as his mother nodded.

“Have fun!” she called as Kageyama nodded, moving to put on his shoes when his father spoke behind him.

“Off to play your games again, Tobio?” he asked as Kageyama gulped.

“Its practice, father.”

“And how long until you decided its enough play time and actually look for a proper job? I don’t have many years left and I need someone to take over the business. Volleyball can only get you so far, Tobio.”

Kageyama tried to stop the veins from popping in his brain as he clenched his teeth, wanting to yell at his father at how he had been unfair to him over the years on his interests in the sport. He wanted to yell at him for not giving him any rest on abandoning his dreams or being forced off the path like so many others, Oikawa’s face popping up in mind along with Hinata’s.

“Until my body breaks, I will continue to play volleyball. Even with the risk of having to leave it from injury, as long as I take care of myself, I will be fine. Father,” Kageyama whispered as he turned to look at his father, both of their scowls mirroring one another as Kageyama’s mother stood in the kitchen, unsure on how to break the tension between both men when Kageyama bent his body low, his father letting out a breath as his son said, “please let me continue my dream of playing volleyball.”

With that, he turned his heel and walked off into the night, the door slamming shut behind him as his parents remained rooted in their spots. Kageyama didn’t look back as he ran down the road, not caring if his lungs burst from the lack of oxygen or the fact his brain was in overdrive from the encounter.

He will play. He didn’t know if he will ever be able to win the approval of his father in the sport, but he will continue to press on.

For the sake of the team and for the dreams of people he had shattered along the way.

…

“Dear,” Mrs Kageyama whispered as her husband walked to the couch before sitting down with a huff. His shoulders sagged as he took a deep breath, letting out a shaky breath as he put his face in his hands as his wife came over.

“I don’t want him to suffer because of a high school dream,” he whispered as his wife sat beside him, running her thumb over his shoulders as she tried to soothe him. Kageyama Sasuke may seem to be a composed man who knew what he wanted in life and would do anything to get it like his son, but deep down, he was someone who didn’t know if he was doing the right thing and was afraid of his son making the same mistake he almost did of pursuing something that might fail him in the end.

At his age, Sasuke had been a prominent volleyball player in the Miyagi prefecture, even playing for Shiratorizawa and winning nationals. On the same team as Ushijima’s father and on the high of winning nationals, Sasuke thought he could do anything in the volleyball world and play it for as long as he wanted; until the day his father died and left the company in his hands.

He had just received a sports recommendation to Tohoku University to continue playing on their team and was about to leave when the news came. He hadn’t known what to do; to forsake his dream of playing volleyball forever and taking over a company he didn’t like or to continue playing on the court until every bone in his body broke.

That was when he decided to follow his heart and continue playing volleyball, leaving the company in the hands of his relatives until the time came for him to take it back. He played on the court for as long as he could, setting the ball to the spikers with deadly precision, his eyes always following where his teammates went on the court. He loved the screams from the stands when he scored a point and the sound of the ball slapping against the court on enemy ground. When he closed his eyes, he could imagine himself setting the ball to the spiker, his fingers lightly tapping the ball as it soared through the air in an arc, the sight blinding his eyes as he tried to watch it fly.

Nearing the end of his university career, just when he was about to be picked for the Japan Volleyball Olympic Team, he had injured his legs beyond repair. After trying to pull off physiotherapy and desperate to not disappoint his team, he had played until he could no longer play properly, his knee screaming in anguish every time he took a step forward, his ankle forever with a dull ache in it from having stepped in the wrong position too many times.

Just like that, his volleyball career was over.

When he went back home, he discovered the company was now in ruins, his uncles and aunts having abused their leadership and sending it into debt. His mother had almost gone insane with her husband gone from her life and her in-laws wrecking havoc on her husband’s legacy. At that moment, Sasuke had felt guilt for having made the wrong decision of leaving his mother to defend herself in that cruel world; for having pursued his own dream instead of following the wishes of his family.

During that time, he had met his wife, Reiko and together they rebuilt a company from the bottom up, reestablishing the Kageyama family name. He restarted university, studying accounting and creating a business empire that would have his dead father rolling in the grave with pride at how far he had come. He thought he could leave his old fears and guilt behind; until he decided to play volleyball with his young son, Tobio.

The boy had always been one who was attuned to his surroundings. Even as a toddler, Tobio has been perceptive in games. When people played ball in the playground near the house, Tobio would be the fastest to catch the ball, making Sasuke decide it might be a good idea to show him the world of volleyball.

Little did he know that Tobio would fall neck deep into the volleyball hell he had once fallen into. As he watched his son grow older and taking on steps to become a pro player, he could feel the fear of him making the same mistake rising from the depths of his mind, screaming at him to stop his son from making the same mistake. He wanted to tell him it was never worth it to ruin his body over the sport, forever having a limp in his step and wasting years of following the wrong path and causing hurt to his family.

His methods of trying to dissuade Tobio from pursuing his dreams seemed to have a different effect and over time, the bubbly child his son once was became a dark cloud, never wanting to be around his father or spending his days in the gym training on the court. Sasuke may be a bit blunt and bad at phrasing his words and he still blamed himself for Tobio becoming as withdrawn as he was; although deep down, he was proud that he managed to reach a stage he never managed to stand on.

“Dear, Tobio will be fine.”

“I don’t want him to go through what happened to me. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“He is his own person. You’ve seen him the past few days; he seems more happy and determined to make his dream come true. He even asked me on how to go about talking to you since you’re scowling so much all the time it scares him. I thought it was so cute, seeing how our son has the same scowl as his father,” Reiko grinned as Sasuke blanched, “Reiko, I don’t scowl that badly!”

His wife laughed as she pecked a kiss on his forehead, her thumb moving to caress his cheek as she looked into her husband’s chocolate eyes. Whenever he looked at her, he always wondered how a sullen man had been able to get such a kind woman in his life who put up with his bad temper and horrible face.

“I think you know what to do now,” she smiled as Sasuke nodded, the sun slowly setting in the horizon as he walked over to the tray by the entryway to pick up his car keys.

…

The last thing Kageyama expected was to see his father waiting for him at the entrance of Shiratorizawa. He had just waved goodbye to Ushijima and was about to walk back when he recognized the Black Jaguar his father drove, the window down as his father took a pull from his cigarette. Kageyama thought of how he cool he thought smoking was as a child from seeing him do that but thinking about it now, he rather used the money to buy food or pay rent.

“What are you doing here, father,” he asked as his father sighed before pointing to the car, “Let’s go for a drive.”

Slowly, Kageyama got into the car, closing the door behind him as his father took off down the road, driving through the windy paths that graced the area. Although it was too dark to see, Kageyama could make out the path they were taking as one he used to take as a child when his father brought him for car rides around. Those had been the few precious time they managed to spend time together since he was always out of town for work.

“You do know I used to play for Shiratorizawa the year we went to nationals?” Sasuke said as Tobio nearly spit out the water he had in his mouth, his father chuckling at how shocked his son was.

“You… you what?!” he yelped as Sasuke laughed, “I played volleyball the same way you did; as a setter for the strongest ace. I played all the way to be on a Tier 1 team and nearly got onto the Olympic team around 30 years ago, about your current age.”

Kageyama couldn’t believe his ears when his father spoke about his adventures on the court. He knew he had played volleyball but he never knew his father had been that good at it. He couldn’t even believe the fact he had been on the same team as Ushijima’s father back in the day when they won nationals, one of the biggest triumphs Shiratorizawa has ever had.

Then why did he quit?

“I was forced to stop. My knee gave way and my leg basically became useless. I couldn’t jump anymore and now that I think about it, I think my shoulder would have gone too if I hadn’t stopped the sport. I lost everything; my dreams, my team, my very reason to be on the court. Thinking about it now, I wonder why I even decided to let you try out volleyball.”

They took a turn into a small little town, most of the houses with the lights on as their occupants got ready for dinner or supper. Kageyama’s stomach rumbled at the thought of food as his father tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

“I don’t want you to regret having come so far and not being able to make it to the world stage. It hurt me when all of my mistakes came back to haunt me of not taking over your grandfather’s company, forcing me to start fresh. When you told me that you wanted to go pro, I had the lingering fear that if the same thing happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t stop it from happening.”

The car pulled to a stop in front of a traffic light, the road clear of cars as Sasuke took in a breath.

“I know you love volleyball with you life Tobio. I don’t want to take it away from you. But as a parent, I don’t want to have to see my son getting broken on the court and having his dreams taken away from him. That’s why I wanted you to stop and take over my business, where I could at least protect you. However, it seems that you truly belong on the court more than I ever did.”

Sasuke smiled as he put his hand on his son’s head, his heart aching at how much he had grown. He could still remember Kageyama being a small toddler, pacifier in his mouth as he tottered along the living room floor. He recalled Kageyama receiving a volleyball for the first time, his eyes shining as the ball sailed through the air. When his son had managed to get into the Schweiden Adlers, he had stop himself from doing a victory dance in his office on that success.

He wasn’t going to hold him back any longer.

No matter how much he wanted to deny it, his son was now a grown man.

“Tobio, I apologise for giving you such a hard time until now. Although you can tell that you got your bad communication habits from your old man. I don’t know if you will ever forgive me for what I done, but no matter what happens from now, I will always support you,” Sasuke smiled as Kageyama bit his lip. He could feel himself tearing up as he tried to hold back his emotions.

All those words weren’t words of rejection; they had been said to protect him from the pain of losing on the court. He had been wrong about him all this time; his father had told him those things out of love.

“Father, I will not disappoint you,” he said as he bowed, Sasuke laughing as he gave his son a pat on the back, “You’ve never disappointed me. I’ve always been proud of you, Tobio.”

At those words, Kageyama could feel the tears prickling his eyes as he smiled, the tears running free as the shackles holding him to the ground finally shattered. He now felt his heart stitching itself together, sealing the void in his heart for good as he put a hand to his chest. The warmth filling him was something he hadn’t experienced for years; one of being completed and accepted by the world around him.

There was a honk behind them as someone yelled at them to get a move on, Sasuke snapping out of his thoughts to realize that they had been there for a bit too long. The light now shone green in the darkness, signaling the beginning of a new step forward as he put the pedal on the ignition.

“Let’s go home, Tobio.”


	10. Good things must come to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is going to be the final session between Hinata and Kageyama as counsellor and client but never fear! I'm posting the epilogue tomorrow and that I really had much more fun writing than this chapter for some reason.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Finally, the day has come.

After nearly three months of being able to have the honor to help one of the best volleyball players in the country, Hinata had to choke down an internal sob as Kageyama entered the room for the last time.

Today was the day they ended their contract as counsellor and client and he felt like Kageyama leaving would leave a hole that wouldn’t heal.

It was strange, being a counsellor. There were times clients had felt that they were in love with their counsellor with the amount of time spent in a room alone with them and the person listening to all their deepest thoughts and desires without any judgement. More than once, Hinata had received that from the client but this might be the first time he ever felt that way towards his client.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

“Thank you for coming today,” Hinata tried to smile as best as he could as Kageyama entered the room. Today he didn’t wear any sort of disguises, dressed in jeans and a well worn hoodie with the words “setter” printed across it. As he sat down, Hinata tried not to squirm at the impending doom of it finally ending when Kageyama said, “This is the final session right?”

At the end of every therapy, the counsellor and client will meet for the final time to close the relationship. Sometimes, this happens in the middle of the therapy or way at the beginning when it just started when the client is unable to cope with the therapy or simply gives up attending altogether. At times like this, the counsellor could only hope that they were safe and hadn’t tried to do anything to harm themselves or others.

Now, he was going to go through Kageyama’s experience of going through counselling and how it has changed him for the better.

Over the weeks, Hinata had been beside Kageyama, watching as the world seen through his eyes got clearer. Some old scars were left on the glass, some stains unresolvable, but these are what made Kageyama who he was and can never be changed. Hinata could almost see himself standing on the world stage with Kageyama, looking on as the crowd cheered for him from the stands as he walked onto the court, ball in hand as he reached for the lights above.

“So Kageyama. How has your experience been?”

Kageyama gulped as he leaned back in his chair, taking a few breaths as he recounted his experiences for the past few weeks.

He talked about how he had met his father over the break and come to terms with him, stating that he had misunderstood his intentions and that he was actually trying to protect him from the disappointment of the athelete world. Now that they have reconciled, Kageyama had opened up to his father more, even inviting him to watch him in the Olympics if he got onto the team, although his father admitted he had actually gone to watch Kageyama play lived several times, much to his horror and shock.

For his former Kitagawa Daichi senior duo, he had somehow managed to make up with them on the roof of the hospital that day. Ever since then, Oikawa has been pestering him to send him autographed merchandise, saying that he owed him a lot of becoming a pro volleyball player while Iwaizumi yelled in the background for him being an idiot and annoying others. Kageyama smiled fondly at the memory, remembering the days he saw them bicker on the court, even when they entered high school until Oikawa’s final day on the court.

He then talked about how things were with his team now. Ever since he made the apology, some of them had begin to warm up to him. Although some of them still held a bit of resentment towards him for his words hurting them in the past, it seemed that their ability to work as a team was now much better than before. Kageyama had never enjoyed practice so much in his life and was now hanging out with other teammates that weren’t Ushijima outside of practice time; apparently, he had got a bit too drunk during one hangout that had the coach yelling at them the next day when he threw up all over the court.

Finally, he spoke about him now being able to interact with his seniors without any worries. After the birthday party, while they hadn’t hung out much with work and school going on, Kageyama felt like he could play without the constant guilt of having held some of them back in their school years. Semi had even gone as far to tell him that he would come up with a new theme song for their team if they got onto the Olympic team since he said the current Olympic song was trash and needed a bit more life to it.

“It seems that you have finally come to terms with everything,” Hinata smiled as Kageyama nodded.

“After all of this, I haven’t felt so completed. I feel whole and without all of my fears and guilt on my shoulders, I can play even more freely then I ever could. Now with so many people by my side, I feel that I can do anything on the court,” Kageyama said, a smile spreading on his lips as Hinata melted. That was the same rare smile he had on the court when he played against the Black Jackals; Hianta wished he would smile more like that in his interviews since his pictures were often horrendous shots of him looking like he was having a constipation.

“Thank you so much for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Kageyama said as he bowed to Hinata, the small counsellor waving his hands as he tried to get him to raise his head.

“No no! The pleasure is all mine! I’m glad that you can now play on the court without any worries and I hope that you do well in selection for the Olympic team,” Hinata said as Kageyama nodded.

“Yeah. I will get on the team and make sure Japan wins gold,” he said as he gripped his fist, an excited look on his face as Hinata laughed.

“With that in mind, I hope you will,” he said as he and Kageyama stood up, Hinata raising his hand as he smiled, teeth flashing as he said, “Its been an honour working with you, Kageyama.”

Kageyama nodded as he clasped his hand, shaking it for what may be the last time as he debated on letting go or not. He was going to miss his interactions with Hinata, of how he would sit and rant to him about his problems and Hinata scrunching his face as he thought up of ways on how to help him. He would never forget the warmth that Hinata gave him whenever he sat across him and how much his eyes burned whenever he talked about volleyball.

“If you want, you can come play with me and Ushijima-san today. We normally have an off day but we could use some practice time,” he said as Hinata squawked, “Me playing with you?! Hell yeah! Arghhh, its going to be so cool, playing with the king.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kageyama sighed as Hinata bounced up and down, somehow managing to keep his hand in Kageyama’s as his eyes shone.

“Send me the location and details. I’ll make sure to bring a few buddies!” he grinned as Kageyama raised an eyebrow, “Sure but not too many. Ushijima-san doesn’t like to have too many people.”

“Come on, we could use a bit of fun with two pro players. I know a certain someone who would die to see Ushijima-san in action,” Hinata grinned as he thought about a certain silver-haired counsellor, who promptly sneezed mid session with a client as he quickly diverted his attention back to his client.

Slowly, Hinata withdrew his hand fro Kageyama’s, Kageyama’s face dropping as he felt the warmth leave his hand. Before he could say anything though, he felt a board being thrust into his hands, a loud squeak following afterwards as Hinata begged for an autograph.

Even though he would no longer be with him in this room, at least they got to stand on the court that both of them loved so much.

…

“I can’t believe you dragged us into this,” Yamaguchi groaned as Hinata dragged him down the road, Suga bouncing up ahead as he squealed about being able to play with Ushijima on the court. Hinata wondered if the man secretly had a crush on the giant as they rounded the corner, the large gym coming into view as someone waved from the door.

“Oh, you must be Chibi-chan! Tobio-kun talks a lot about you,” Tendou grinned, his eyes roving over the bunch as Yamaguchi nearly wilted under his gaze. Hinata on the other hand grinned as he gave a nod to him, Suga letting out a squeal as he saw Ushijima moving inside the hall, spiking a ball Kageyama had just set to him as Tendou laughed.

“Come on in! You don’t want to be missing the party,” he grinned as they walked in. Inside, Reon and Semi were practicing receiving and spikes with one another, the ball flying through the air as Semi dove to receive it when Reon spiked it towards him. A man with wild coloured hair was chatting loudly with a pretty black haired man, who looked like he was torn between going away and staying to listen to him talk when Hinata squawked.

“Bokuto-san from the Black Jackals?!” he squawked as the wild haired man’s ears pricked up before turning to look at him, wild grin on his face as he said, “Hey hey hey! You must be that shrimpy Kageyama was talking about! Wait, how do you know my name?”

“Bokuto-san, you’re a very popular man these days you know,” his partner sighed as Hinata tried not to die from being in close proximity with a star player.

“Your spikes are amazing! You go fwoom and swoom and your balls always goes boom on the other side! Ahhh, teach me how to spike, Bokuto-senpai!” he yelped as Bokuto laughed, hands on his hips as his partner sighed in defeat.

“Hey hey hey, of course I will, shrimpy!” he grinned as his partner nodded in apology before dragging Bokuto away to do some stretches, the player protesting as Yamaguchi came to stand behind Hinata.

“Are you sure we’re not intruding? I mean, they’re so good and they’re going to wipe the floor with us,” he stammered, the poor boy shaking so much his knees knocked together as Suga gave both of them smacks on the back.

“Come on guys! I taught you guys very well on how to interact with strong players! I think some of them may be on our team as well so don’t worry too much about it!” Suga beamed, a signed board in his hand as Ushijima looked at them from afar, wondering if they had gone a bit mad from working too much when Kageyama called, “Everyone on the court!”

Soon, all of them stood in a circle, hands outstretched as the anticipation filled the air. Hinata could feel the tension rising as only their breath filled the air, all hands rising at the same time as everyone shouted, “Rock! Scissors!”

An equal amount of rock and scissors appeared as some members of the group groaned, others cheering and grinning as they huddled to each side of the court. Hinata squeaked when he realized he was on the same team as Bokuto, although the spiker seemed forlorn that his partner had wandered off to the other side, giving Ushijima a high five in the process as he yelled at him for his betrayal.

  
“Oi, baka. Don’t doze off like that and get into position,” Kageyama snapped as Hinata squeaked, nearly slamming into him as Kageyama said, “I will set to you, alright?”

Hinata could barley contain his excitement at those words, squeaking at how he had always wanted to hit one of the King’s sets when Kageyama decided to push his pressure point to shut him up, making the smaller man roll on the ground in pain as Tendou shouted, “Let’s get this party started.”

The game soon began as Bokuto delivered a powerful serve across the court, Reon barely managing to receive it as it rose into the air. Hinata gawked as Akaashi, Bokuto’s partner rose into the air to set the ball to Ushijima, who rose to meet it before spiking it down. His stare sent chills down Hinata’s spine, who could barely contain his excitement as Yamaguchi managed to receive the ball, yelling that it was up as Kageyama shouted.

“Hinata!”

Hinata’s body moved towards the sound of his voice, his feet carrying him forward as he took those steps. He felt himself rising into the air, arm stretched back as the low tapping sound of a ball being set filled the air, the only thing filling his gaze now was the sight of the court before him. The view from the top was beautiful, his eyes zoning onto a particular part of the court as his hand connected with the ball, sending it to the other side with a yell as Tendou unsuccessfully managed to get it.

As Hinata descended back onto the court, his hand stung as he gripped it into a fist, grinning like a madman as Bokuto shouted in the background, “Hey hey hey, first point is ours!”

“Yes!” Hinata shouted as Kageyama raised a hand towards him, a grin on his face as Hinata returned the high five, the slapping sound filling the air echoing across the court as both of them smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue will be out tomorrow so stay tuned for one final round!


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we're here at the finishing line. After about a month or so of writing this story, it has come to an end.
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your support! To everyone who even just decided to click this story to check it out, thank you for giving your time to going through this story. I feel blessed to be able to have the chance to let people read my work and to those who enjoyed it, thank you for sticking out for me until the very end.
> 
> This was by far my most favourite chapter to write and what I included in it just came into being when I was writing it without much of a plan going on in my head. I think this is the best way to end the story and I hope you guys enjoy reading it.
> 
> Now, hope you enjoy the final chapter of "Onto the Road of Recovery". 
> 
> I don't own the characters.

**Japan Olympics July 2020 : in a stadium in Tokyo…**

The Olympics had finally arrived in Japan at full swing and Hinata had to say, the party was on!

Everywhere he went, tourists and fans of various sports walked about wearing their national team’s uniform, most of them having traveled thousands of miles just to watch their national team play. The entire country was in an uproar with team spirit and rivalry seeping into the lives of the locals who even as they tried to avoid getting caught up in the festivities and excitement of knowing who will win the 2020 Olympics, can’t help but find themselves drawn to various sports some of them haven’t even heard off before.

Hinata sat in the train, for once glad that he was small as he got squished between two large foreign men, the two of them talking about volleyball in English (the only reason Hinata knew that was because he actually knew what volleyball was in English). While they talked animatedly about the sport, Hinata tried to see which team they were supporting when they finally got off the train, the mechanical voice speaking to them in Japanese above their heads as majority of the crowd funneled out into the train station, Hinata using his old speed and size to his advantage as he darted through the crowd with ease before coming to a stop in front of a large advertisement running along the wall.

Kageyama’s face shone with concentration as he set a ball into the air, the laughing face of Bokuto standing behind him as Ushijima stood with his back to the camera, his Team Japan jacket flying in the wind. Miya Atsumu had a leering grin on his face, his eyes boring straight into whoever was looking at him as he held a ball in his hand. Hinata could barely keep himself together as he turned to take a selfie of himself standing in front of the picture before sending it to Kageyama and posting it on his Instagram page with the hashtag “going to see my bro Kageyama!” “go team Japan!” “got VIP seats!” at the bottom.

After the counselling session had ended, Hinata had received a ticket in the mail along with a message written on a single script of paper on top of it, the handwriting much worse than Hinata’s chicken scrawl. Hinata had nearly slammed his head into the ceiling from jumping too high and too much when he saw that Kageyama had made the team and had sent him a VIP ticket for a front row seat to the games. Grateful since the tickets cost a bomb and that he would be able to see his friend live in the game, Hinata had been waiting in anticipation for the game for months, booking his train tickets ahead of time and making sure Yachi would know he wouldn’t be at work for the next few days.

Hinata was a bit curious how he managed to find his house address and that he could have just sent him an eticket or messaged him through the phone.

Over the past few months, Hinata had the pleasure of palying with some of the best players in the country, now majority of them representing their homeland in the games. What was supposed to be a one time playing for fun event with Kageyama turned into a weekly event, with them pairing up most of the time on the court when it came to games. Hinata had never felt so alive on the court, even when he had the chance to play on an official team during his Karasuno days. While he couldn’t complain about Suga being a good setter, Kageyam was a new level of mad when he was on the court.

When he had first set to him, Hinata had barely been able to hit the ball but over time, with his max speed and Kageyama’s ability to pinpoint exactly where he hit, they had quickly become a formidable duo on the court. Even Ushijima had been shocked at Hinata’s jumping levels, asking him why he hadn’t gone to a better school when Yamaguchi had to hold back Suga from pummeling Ushijima for saying that. The silver-haired setter loved his old school and didn’t hesitate to make anyone pay if they ever so much talked bad about them. Luckily for them, hey had quickly come to recognize their skills on the court, even Yamaguchi, who had a hard time playing back in the day but managed to polish his jump-float serve over time to become a formidable pinch server.

When Hinata stepped out onto the streets of Tokyo, his eyes were blinded as he stared up at the stadium where team Japan will be facing their foes. Today’s match was going to be an insane one, with the reigning champions going toe to toe with the Japan team, an event that is said to be a battle between demons. With japan boasting a new generation of formidable players and Brazil having won the previous Olympics, this might very well be the match of the century.

“Hey Hinata! Over here!” a voice called as a silver and brown cowlick waved in the air as it detected Hinata. Suga and Yamaguchi waved at the entrance, Yamaguchi looking much too cluster phobic for his own good with so many people around while Suga was smiling widely.

Both of them had gotten tickets as well, Suga’s coming as a surprise from Ushijima and Yamaguchi having gotten one from Kageyama since the guy had spare tickets. Yamaguchi had been complaining about Tsukishima not going for the game but Hinata was partially glad the spectacled man wasn’t coming since he drove him up the wall whenever he complained on how loud Hinata was during games; not like Hinata couldn’t agree with him on it.

“Yo!’ Hinata yelped as he gave both of them a high five before they walked into the stadium. Luckily for them, they got past the long line of people waiting to get in, waving their VIP tickets as they got into the stadium. The place was packed with people of different nationalities, although waves of Japanese people and Brazilians dominated the population. Many of them wore their country’s uniform, some of them singing the national anthem and waving the flags in the air as they waited for the players to come out. Hinata wasn’t sure if they were going to do an autograph session but now that he knew most of them off the court, he could get one anytime he wished.

He made an internal fanboy squeal as Yamaguchi groaned.

Once they settled in their seats, they each took turns rushing to the toilet or getting snacks and drinks for the games. Hinata ended up buying a bag of onigiri sold by one of the Miya twins, Osamu who was now the proud owner of a food stall that’s seemed to haunt his other half wherever he played, chuckling at how Atsumu must feel whenever people talk behind his back on how he could be selling food right before the game. The poor man had bawled his head off once at how his brother always got mistaken for him and would often be considered more hardworking while he was considered slacking off the job for selling food when he wasn’t.

“Man this is going to be exciting!” Suga gushed as he texted Daichi and Asahi. Both of the two seniors were somewhere in the crowd since they had to get their own tickets while the other members of Karasuno were working. The crowd was getting thicker as the time of the game starting drew closer and closer, the anticipation rising in the air until at long last, the announcement of the starting lineup came.

“Can we please welcome the teams playing today’s match, Team Japan vs. Team Brazil,” the announcer spoke, their voice sounding bored from having done too many announcements across the month as the crowd went wild, screams filing the air as the members walked in as their names were called.

“Playing inside hitter for team Japan, number 11 is Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

A wave of screams followed as Ushijima ran onto the court, the team Japan sign blazing on his chest as he walked, his eyes staring at the court in front of him. Hinata could have swore he heard Suga swooning next to him alongside majority of the female fans as the next player was announced.

“Playing outside hitter for the team as number 12 is Bokuto Koutarou!”

A wave of yells followed as a bunch of guys wearing the Fukurodani team uniform yelled his name, pumping their fists into the air as the wing spiker did cartwheels on his way out, earning laughs from the crowd as he yelled, “Hey hey hey! Whats up people?!”

Akaashi, who was seated quite a ways from them gave a small smile along with a sigh as he clapped for Bokuto’s entrance, the wing spiker somehow noticing his friend’s presence as he blew a kiss at him that made the man turn beet red from it.

“Playing the main setter is number 20, Kageyama Tobio.”

“Kageyama, fight!” Hinata roared as he got up to cheer, the noise rising from the crowd higher than ever before as the setter walked onto the court, waves of screams and cheers filling the air as Kageyama raised a hand to the crowd. That increased the screaming even more as Kageyama’s eyes darted through the crowd, managing to connect with Hinata as he gave a smile that sent a wave of fangirl screams through the female fans.

“Hey, you think he’s got a thing for you, Hinata?” Suga smirked as Hinata waved back at Kageyama. Somehow, he had managed to connect with the setter really well and although he wasn’t exactly to be in that much contact with his client after counselling, Hinata couldn’t help but get drawn into the world Kageyama belonged to that he so desperately wanted to be part of all those years ago.

As the teams stood on the court, Hinata could almost imagine himself standing beside Kageyama on the court. If, maybe in the past, Kageyama had gone to Karasuno and played for them there, they could have been a freak duo no one had ever seen before and played all the way to nationals. Maybe, just maybe, he might have seen the view he had always wanted to see.

Before his eyes, it blocks his path. A high, high wall. What sort of scene is on the other side? What will he be able to see there? The view from the top. a scenery that he will be never to see on his own; but, if he not alone, then… he might be able to see it.

Even though Hinata never got the chance to see the view from the top from the court, at least now, standing high above the crowd, he could share the same sight Kageyama now saw.

Together.

…

Kageyama breathed as they got ready to walk out. He had been on high nerves since the previous day, barely able to chug down any food he needed even when the others were able to plow through plate after plate of food. As excited as he was, he couldn’t help but feel nervous at the same time of not being able to perform to the best of his ability.

That was when he mentally gave himself a slap as he told himself that no one was expecting anything from him. He was there on the court because he wanted to be. He deserved to be there after all the hard work he had put in to get there.

He was going to play his dream on the court.

_That night, he dreamed of himself standing in a high school gym, the gym small, standard of an average high school. The windows were drawn to let the light stream into it, hitting the volleyball net set up in the middle of the court. He spun the ball in his hands, letting the ball spin slowly before tossing it up into the air, taking a slow breath as he got ready to spike when he heard a shout coming from the door._

_“What are you doing here?!” a voice blurted as Kageyama came to a stop, landing on the court as he turned to stare at the owner of the voice._

_It was a younger version of Hinata, although he barely changed much over the years. He was slightly shorter and his hair was more wavy than as an adult (was it possible for his hair to be that bright orange when he was younger?!) but his energy was still as much as he had as an adult. Kageyama had seen too many times on the court just how loud Hinata could be and he had thought how he managed to get into a career that involved being poised and calm._

_There was a thumping sound as a ball fell onto his head, the ball rolling to lie forgotten on the ground as Kageyama turned to open his mouth when the scene changed._

_He was now standing on an orange court, the lights shining above his head as he wore the black and orange colours of Karasuno high school. He had the number 9 printed on the back of his jersey as he looked forward, the air filled with the claps and shouts of spectators raring to watch the game. As he looked on his left, he saw Hinata wearing the same uniform, albeit with the number 10 on his back as he grinned._

_“Come on, Kageyama! We have a game to play!” he grinned as more people began to step onto the court. Kageyama recognized a few of them as Suga and Yamaguchi from the practices Hinata had with them on the court, Suga all smiles as he gave him a whack on the back before standing beside him. Yamaguchi gave him a small nod before going to stand beside Suga when a loud voice called out to them._

_“Come on! Don’t look so down! Let’s have a good game!” a boy who was shorter than Hinata grinned as he bounced on the balls of his feet, his hair spiked up as he wore the uniform of a libero. The guy next to him laughed, his bald head shining in the light as he grinned serrated teeth._

_“Onward to pleasing Kiyoko-san! Oraaa!!!!!” he yelled as someone snapped, “Calm down, Noya! Tanaka! We’re about to play a game!”_

_A boy with the number 1 walked to stand beside the bald boy, a scary grin on his face as the two boys froze in their spots before shuffling to get into position._

_“Daichi, don’t be so loud. You’re making me scared with your face,” a man with a beard and hair pulled back in a bun and hairband stammered as he stood beside his captain, the number 3 painted on his back as a boy with the number 8 stepped beside him, “Asashi, calm down. We’ll be fine.”_

_“But…” Asahi stammered as Nishinoya laughed, “Come on Asahi! You’re the ace so don’t look like you’re going to cry all the time!”_

_“Noya!” Asahi wailed as a person sneered, “I guess kids just can’t stop being kids on the court.”_

_A tall lanky beanpole of a player now stood beside Yamaguchi, a smirk that made Kageyama’s skin crawl as he pushed back his black glasses against his face in an irritating manner. He wore the number 11 on his back and his face both spoke volumes of how irritated he was with his teammates as well as how much he wanted to tease them and make things worse._

_“Why you… Tsukishima you beanpole,” Tanaka growled as Kageyama looked at what may have had been his team._

_“Hey Kageyama! Whatacha spacing out for?” a voice asked as Hinata stepped into his field of vision, a grin on his face as he spread out his arms._

_“Come on! We’re all your allies on the court now! Let’s go play a good game and see the view from the top!” he grinned as Kageyama’s chest warmed up, his eyes watery as he tried to blink back the tears as he nodded._

_“Yeah. Let’s do it.”_

When Kageyama woke up, he felt as refreshed as he could ever be as they went to have breakfast and go to the venue, the crowd cheering their names as the team went to the locker room to change. Atsumu was groaning at how much noise Bokuto had made while talking on the phone to Akaashi and causing him to have fitful sleep while Ushijima was telling him to get his mind into the game. Rei, Kageyama’s captain from the Schweiden Alders grinned as he tried to rally the guys together and cobbling their spirits up as Kageyama looked around him.

Somehow, he couldn’t get the image out of his head of playing with Karasuno, the players from his dream consisting of people he had never met but somehow, if he was put with the same team as team, he would have no problem playing with them at all. In fact, he felt that they would be the only team he would ever want to play with for the rest of his life, the feeling of them being able to cover his back at all times settling his nerves as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You ready for this?” Ushijima asked as Kageyama nodded. For years, it had been his dream to play for his country and now, he will be doing so.

With this team consisting of friends and foes of his past, he will be facing the most powerful volleyball team in the world.

He looked forward to the challenge.

“Come on team! Let’s do this!” Rei shouted as the locker room filled with roars, Atsumu yelling as Bokuto pulled him into a headlock while Sakusa looked at them as though they were going to infect him. Ushijima took a moment to run his thumb over a good luck charm he had received from the former Shiratorizawa third years, who were somewhere in the crowd now before closing his locker.

When the attendant came knocking on the door, the boys gave one final yell as they walked in a line, onto the battlefield called the volleyball court.

On the way out, Ushijima turned to walk beside Kageyama, lasting a few minutes until they got onto the court. The words he said made Kageyama feel more at peace as his senior clamped his hand onto his shoulder, giving him a tight squeeze as he said.

“I’m glad to be able to have you set for me on the court.”

Kageyama nodded as Ushijima stepped forward, the stadium going wild as his name was called. One by one, the players were called out and Kageyama could feel his nerves on edge as he waited for his moment. The corridor he was standing in was dark, the feeling he always had whenever he was on the court all those years, unable to connect with the people around him and understanding their feelings.

As Kageyama heard his name being called out and he ran onto the court, his eyes were blinded by the light shining from above him along with the faces of people dear to him popping from the crowd.

His parents sat in the VIP box, waving the Japanese flag as Kageyama Sasuke tried not to cry with joy. The big man was wearing a shirt with his son’s scowling face printed on it with the words “I love Kageyama Tobio” printed in red, Kageyama making a mental note to make him throw the shirt away after the game while his wife sported a Team Japan uniform with her son’s number on the front.

He managed to make out the faces of the Shiratorizawa third years sat in one corner of the stands, shouting and clapping as their former teammates ran onto the court, the Shiratorizawa flag flying high and proud in the sky as they roared. Kageyama spotted Coach Washijo seated beside them, a proud smile on his face as he watched his students fulfill their dreams.

He even caught a glimpse of Kindaichi and Kunimi, both of them waving Japan flags in the air. By some miracle, he had managed to get together with them through the magic of Oikawa’s charm and after a pretty awkward hour of just staring at each other fro across the table, he had finally managed to apologise for what happened in middle school. Although Kindaichi had said it wasn’t necessary to bring it up since they don’t even play volleyball anymore, the turnip head had to admit that deep down, he had hoped that Kageyama would have seen the error of his ways. Kunimi only let out a small grunt, indicating he was satisfied with the outcome and didn’t wan to venture into the matter.

From afar, Iwaizumi had to make sure Oikawa wasn’t mad enough to try and take pictures of them, saying he was so proud of his little kids being all grown up now like a mum while Iwaizumi tried to rein him back to his senses. Once that episode was over, Kageyama had truly managed to come to terms with everyone from his path, becoming a new man in the process.

As his eyes moved through the crowd, he thought he saw the two older versions of the players he had seen in his dream. The two of them were shouting his name as they waved the Japanese flag, Kageyama giving them a wave as his attention turned to the bright orange flame burning in the VIP box.

Hinata bounced on his feet as he waved and shouted his name, squished between Yamaguchi and Suga as he jumped up and down. He stood out like a sore thumb with his hair and his shouts, making Kageyama grateful he had such memorable hair as he shot up a thumbs up to Hinata, who gave him one back.

When all members finally stood on the court, Kageyama could feel the similar sensation of standing with the players in his dream. A land of orange and black stretched out in front of him, the other team large and menacing as Kageyama’s heart beat against his chest. For a moment, he felt he was alone in this, the only person having to face off the team of giants standing off in front of him.

Before his eyes, it blocks his path. A high, high wall. What sort of scene is on the other side? What will he be able to see there? The view from the top. a scenery that he will be never to see on his own; but, if he not alone, then… he might be able to see it.

Slowly but surely, his vision began to brighten as the silhouettes of his teammates came into view, smiling and grinning as they stood as one, ready to tackle their enemy as one team. Kageyama smiled as they bowed to one another, wishing each other a good match as he put a foot forward to get into position.

Even as Hinata and Kageyama stand in two different worlds, fate brought them together to show each other a sight they had never seen before.

In an alternate reality, on a small island in the middle of the ocean on a far corner of the world, two players are ready to face each other on the court, once rivals on the same team, now rivals on the opposite side of the court.

There is the sound of cawing as a murder of crows take flight into the air, signaling the flight of two players who met on the court. No matter where they were, fate will always bring them back together.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story! I'm planning to finish my Owari no haikyuu story soon (will rewatch the anime and then go back to it feeling pumped and refreshed with the feels) after abandoning it for months.
> 
> Until then, ave atque vale and until we meet again, sayonara.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, hit the subscribe button to get updated with the latest chapters and hope you leave some kudos and reviews! They really make my day!


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